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Jay White2008-04-02T15:42:04.244-05:00Take the Road Less Traveled</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/02/2008 by <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/about/">David B. Bohl</a>, the author of <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/">Slow Down Fast</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/67114894@N00/152357087/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_Pt1Ip0E4I/AAAAAAAABms/L_-xVmPSNB4/s320/road.png" alt="The Road Less Traveled" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184749093145285506" title="The Road Less Traveled" border="0" /></a>In life, there are two paths available to each of us. Which path we travel is determined entirely by our own actions, our decisions, and our priorities. It is decided by our character – the ability to make the <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/blog/action-or-inaction-which-will-you-regret-more/">right choice</a>, even if it is not the easy choice. <blockquote>“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” - Matthew 7:13-14</blockquote>In life, we are faced with decisions each day, some that are easy, and some that may be very difficult. The decisions we make and how we choose to deal with individual circumstances determines which road we are traveling. Remaining on the narrow road takes a great deal of thought, concentration, and dedication. An important step in the ongoing process of personal development is to be able to discern between the broad road and the narrow road, and then choose the correct path. The Broad Road This road is often known as “the path of least resistance.” When we travel the broad road we compromise our beliefs rather than fight for what is dear to us. Or we may not even know yet what really is important. Traveling the broad road means not having to make difficult decisions. Instead, we bestow the power to make those decisions on someone else, burdening them with our responsibilities. Or we make the choices that lead to a more comfortable life, but provide little in the way of fulfillment. The broad road may provide a sense of achievement through the accumulation of riches, but such a road will usually leave the soul wanting for a life with deeper meaning. The Narrow Road Taking the narrow road is usually the more difficult choice, and involves selflessness and personal awareness. This road is not for the selfish, as it involves giving of yourself for the good of others. Although the narrow road can be a challenging one, it is full of rewards along the way that provide great happiness and fulfillment. When you come home from work, exhausted from too many hours in the office and not enough hours spent sleeping, and your little boy asks you to play ball with him, you are being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road. Those who travel the broad road will divert the child’s attention to something else, while the person traveling the narrow road will go outside and savor the opportunity to play. When you see a colleague engaging in unethical behavior at work, you are being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road. Those on the broad road will choose to ignore the behavior, as long as it does not involve personal repercussions. The person traveling the narrow road will feel compelled to address the employee or go to a supervisor. There are many decisions to be made in life, all of them placed at our feet so we may learn to develop a strong moral character. We are constantly being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road, and can stray off of either path quite easily. Knowing the Difference For some people, knowing the difference between the broad road and the narrow road can be a challenge. A simple way to decide which path you are on is to ask yourself if the actions you are taking provide any benefit to others. This is particularly important when it comes to decisions regarding family, and the person who is serious about personal development will make the choice that benefits the family. Another simple way to realize the difference between the broad road and the narrow road is to ask yourself whether you are being asked to do something hard. If you can honestly say you have a difficult task or a tough decision to make, you can bet you are being asked to choose which path to take. The most important aspect of personal development with regard to the narrow road is wanting to make the difficult decision. When this happens, you realize the value in traveling the narrow road and are open to the wondrous experiences traveling this little inhabited path might provide. You realize that life cycles through prosperity and challenge, and you are open to fully experiencing both. -David <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=KLTC3V"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=KLTC3V" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=4lVbGfg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=4lVbGfg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=MIL65ig"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=MIL65ig" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=1boXgsg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=1boXgsg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=6QDnBig"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=6QDnBig" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=K0MLh9G"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=K0MLh9G" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/262901936" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-02T08:21:51.244-05:00</updated><title type="text">The Ultimate 'Success-O-Meter'</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/02/2008 by Craig Harper, a <a href="http://www.craigharper.com.au/" title="Motivational Speaker">Motivational Speaker</a></h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kippster/390270468/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_OGZYp0E3I/AAAAAAAABmk/muPZqwncFsA/s400/happy.png" alt="Happy Family" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184635366706254706" title="Happy Family" border="0" /></a>The thing with us Personal Development types is, we're always talking about creating our best life. Success. Whatever that is. We know that success is represented by different things for different people, but society teaches us that success is typically about money, position, attractiveness, power and influence. Some more evolved souls have philosophies like: <blockquote>"We make a living by what we get, We make a life by what we give" - Winston Churchill</blockquote> Over the last few years I have done some work with a bloke, who by most people's standards, is considered to be incredibly successful. I can't be too specific for obvious reasons, but I can tell you that, despite his significant commercial success, he is, in most areas of his life, a self-confessed failure. For the purpose of this little chat, we'll call him Subject A. Over the last thirty-three years I have had a relationship with another bloke, who happens to be my best friend in the world and, I guess by society's standards, he's your typical Aussie lad. No high-flyer; just your meat and potatoes ripper bloke. We'll call him Subject B. Let's take a snapshot of each bloke: Subject A Early 50's. Stinking rich. Miserable, unfulfilled. Stressed, anxious. On wife no.4, a bunch of kids, step kids and ex-step kids. Five houses. Triple by-pass surgery in his forties. Lots of medication. Unfulfilled, lonely, insecure. Kind of scared about his future (tough to admit but true). Got everything and nothing. Subject B 43. 1 wife, 3 kids, 1 dog. A nice house in the country on a few acres. Works on an oil rig, 7 days on, 7 days off. Like all of us, has tough days, but if he was a dog, he'd be a Golden Retriever; just happy to see you, tail always wagging. The world-famous Harper 'Success-O-Meter' works like this: There are ten success categories, and in each category the subject is scored either a one (positive response), or a zero (negative). Here's what the resultant scores indicate: 0 - 3: Really need to stop, re-assess, and make some significant life-decisions. 3 - 5: Has some periodic joy and fun, but overall life's kinda average and blah. 6 - 8: Going okay, at times great. Still need to work on a few things though (as we all do). 9 - 10: Got it sorted. Keep doing what you're doing... and teach others. This is how I would rate the lads... er, subjects. 1. Physical Health Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 2. Financial Health Subject A: 1 Subject B: 1 3. Laugh / Fun Factor (he/she laughs and has fun, often) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 4. Psychological Health (typically positive outlook, optimist, great attitude, has the ability to 'switch off' from distractions like work etc., deals well with challenges) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 5. Emotional Health (can receive love easily, typically content, calm, relaxed, fulfilled, can and does express feelings easily to all loved ones, is okay with crying, good self-esteem, not insecure, can and does make others feel good about themselves) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 6. Social Health (has, and invests time in, meaningful friendships, goes on regular holidays, hangs out, enjoys socializing, allows time to prioritize friends, has genuine 'down time', others enjoy being around this person) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 7. Spiritual Health (has some kind of spiritual beliefs and invests time and energy developing on that level, performs self-less acts of kindness, gives without expecting or wanting anything in return, open to learning and growing on a spiritual level, has faith) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 8. Family Life (spends significant time with family, is not typically selfish, is happy to invest practically, emotionally and psychologically into the family, loves being with and prioritizes family) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 9. Career / Vocation (looks forward to work, is stimulated and challenged by it, enjoys it, has fun at work, has made his/her passion their career, not a work-a-holic, has good work/life balance, does not try and meet emotional, psychological and/or social needs, through work) Subject A: 0 Subject B: 1 10. Personal Growth (is genuinely interested in developing on all levels, wants to learn, grow and change for the better, is a student of life, can accept constructive feedback, is proactive not reactive, is not lazy, does not typically procrastinate or make excuses, is prepared to get uncomfortable) Subject A: 1 Subject B: 1 Overall Scores: Subject A: 2 Subject B: 10 So, it seems that the humble dad, husband and tradesman is actually one of the most successful people I know. Of course, how someone will score in any 'evaluation' depends completely on the criteria by which that individual is judged. I have no doubts that some people will not agree with my judging criteria, that's okay; they don't have to. That's why it's called the Harper Success-O-Meter! The important thing is that we periodically take the time to step back from the mayhem that is, our reality, and see if we really are living a life which is consistent with our beliefs, values, standards, principles and goals. By the way, I have nothing against people making truck loads of money. I have a problem when that money becomes a person's identity. People often say "money is the root of all evil", which is a mis-quote of a scripture which actually says, "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy, 6:10). So, money's not the problem, what it represents to (some) people, is the problem. The take-home message? "It doesn't matter what's happening on the outside (what the world sees), if we're not genuinely working on the inside." -Craig <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=AxwyP2"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=AxwyP2" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=Bqy6wNg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=Bqy6wNg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=kzKsGAg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=kzKsGAg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=uzINsog"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=uzINsog" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=Diyb6Lg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=Diyb6Lg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=5VNIEYG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=5VNIEYG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/262664091" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-01T08:11:09.121-05:00</updated><title type="text">4 Defense Strategies to Becoming A Millionaire</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/01/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the <a href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/">Practical Personal Development</a> blog.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/amagill/362201147/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_IxP4p0E2I/AAAAAAAABmc/K6OBudFOlzA/s320/cash.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184260270032425826" border="0" /></a>Something happened to me that completely took over my mind and made me think non-stop about money. I completely transformed every facet of my existence to thinking more and more like a millionaire. Come on, you know you have it bad when you think about it during sex. What type of mindset do you have to have in order to become a millionaire? First off, let me say that I am a firm believer that in order to reach a goal you must first be the specific person, that takes the actions, that reach that goal. Be, do, have! I'm also a firm believer that one is much better off learning proper money management techniques while they have 1 dollar, instead of waiting until later in life and not knowing how to manage. Dr. Thomas J. Stanley has taken a couple of decades of his life to do extensive field research on millionaires. In fact he has surveyed and personally interviewed +1,000 millionaires during this time. Carefully analyzing this statistical data, as well as their direct advice, and coming up with many fundamental <a class="snap_shots" href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2008/03/28/1000-real-millionaires-reveal-their-top-13-success-secrets/">success principles</a> that are shared by these millionaires. For the past couple of weeks I've been listening to the audio version of Dr. Stanley's book '<a class="snap_shots" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSecrets-Millionaire-Mind-Mastering-Wealth%2Fdp%2F0060763280%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1207053988%26sr%3D8-1&tag=nosid-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">The Millionaire Mind</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=nosid-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />'. The facts I learned surprised me, but more importantly they changed my paradigm, and my actions towards money. I'll share a few of the interesting and unexpected facts I learned in this book, and if you're interested you can certainly find the book at Amazon or your local library. Remember these facts are statistically significant for MOST millionaires, not all of them. The mentality could be used by anyone for success. Defensive Money Strategies from Real Millionaires <ol><li> House Purchases. Real Millionaires do not get houses custom built, nor do they move into new developments. They live in clusters with each other in OLD neighborhoods, in OLD houses. Most are 15 years old and they often triple in price since their purchases.</li> <li>Clothing Purchases. They aren't going to buy really expensive clothes. They may frequent thrift shops or even Walmart to get their clothes. So don't be embarrassed to go cheap, just think of it as acting like a millionaire. They will buy really expensive shoes, and resole them when necessary. Since they'll wear them for a couple of decades the cost per wear will be marginal compared to constantly replacing a cheap pair.</li> <li>Furniture Purchases. Real millionaires do not buy the latest styled furniture. They'll go out and buy a $10,000 antique table made from REAL wood, not modern saw dust. They'll repair and refinish this table when needed. They can keep it for a lifetime, pass it on to their children, and not worry about upgrading to the latest. Guess what? Antiques raise in value, so their net worth doesn't take a hit at all! As far as other furniture goes, they re-upholster it a couple of times in their life time, which is way cheaper than buying new again.</li> <li>Vehicle Purchases. Real millionaires will not buy the latest car while it's still sitting on the lot. They'll keep their cars well maintained for many years, and when it comes to make a new purchase they'll find a used car that is in good condition. This way they can avoid that initial depreciation that comes with driving a brand new car off the lot.</li></ol>First Cost Vs. Life Cycle Cost Defense Strategy This applies to the amount of money that can be saved when purchasing an item, versus how much fixing and replacing this item will cost over a life time. The furniture purchases and shoe purchases I mention above are pretty good examples, but it can apply to many other situations as well. A good example that Dr. Stanley used was in the case of paying a plumber to do some work for you. You might be able to buy a cheaper boiler, install it yourself, and save a few hundred dollars. However, you aren't thinking about the big picture. Factors To Consider <ol><li>Your Working Hours. While you were being a do-it-yourselfer you weren't generating income from your regular job. Even if the professional that you hired was earning more money per hour, you must consider the work you're missing. If the plumber makes $100 and you make $75, then by doing it yourself you only saved $25 per hour.</li> <li>Your Lack of Skills. Your lack of skills in this specific profession may cause unexpected monetary losses. The install will not go as planned and you will ruin the item that you purchased, having to spend more for a new one.</li> <li>Possibility of Injury. Whatever you're undertaking may cause an injury. If you were to be injured at your job, chances are your job would cover it. If the professional you hired were to be injured, his job would cover it. However, if you hurt yourself doing work around the house, you will be responsible for your own injuries.</li> <li>Purchasers Insurance. When a professional does work for you it will often times come with an insurance. If a problem is to arise you just dial the number and get someone over to fix it. If you did the job yourself you're taking more time off work to do the fixing yourself.</li></ol>-Alex <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=lWV3Q3"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=lWV3Q3" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=WaVeXEg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=WaVeXEg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=h4OAYzg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=h4OAYzg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=jUAS7sg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=jUAS7sg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=S22K06g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=S22K06g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=AKwFeYG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=AKwFeYG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/261950585" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Alex Shalman</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-03-31T06:05:04.877-05:00</updated><title type="text">Revealing Your Inner Super Hero</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 3/31/2008 by <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/about/">David B. Bohl</a>, the author of <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/">Slow Down Fast</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/adactio/297867921/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_DE_4p0E1I/AAAAAAAABmU/g9pk2Io5n2U/s320/super.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183859772922008402" title="Web Design Superhero" border="0" /></a>Everyone wants to be strong, intelligent, confident, and incredibly adept at everything we attempt. Yet everything we do is clouded to some degree by uncertainty and fear. We fear we will make mistakes, we fear we will be rejected, and we fear outright failure. No matter how confident we may outwardly appear, every one of us has inner demons we must battle. What we forget – or fail to realize at all – is that each one of us has special qualities and talents that make us unique. We cannot excel at everything, but each one of us excels at something. Sometimes we need reminders that allow us to change our self image and see our own talents and abilities as the rest of the world sees them. Most of us are far more critical of ourselves than anyone else is, and we need to be reminded of our own special abilities. Next time you find yourself needing a boost in confidence, try doing these exercises to remind yourself that you are indeed special and worthy. <ul><li>Look at Your Own Heroes: Think about the people you have looked up to and admired in your life. These could be fictional characters in books, on television, or in the movies. Or they could be real people in your life, who have helped you and guided you along your path to self improvement. Think about the qualities these people have that you admire. Determine which actions they took that embodied the characteristics you value – trust, strength, honesty, determination. Once you have decided who your personal heroes are and why, examine the actions you have taken in your own life. Find things you have done that demonstrate each of those qualities you admire. Find ways in which you have the same characteristics as your heroes, and ask yourself what positive changes you can make to enhance those qualities. </li> <li>Listen to How Others are Described: For a period of a week, take notice of how your friends and family describe others. Particularly pay attention to how they describe people they admire and look up to. Make a list of both the positive and negative qualities that are discussed. At the end of the week, compare your characteristics with those on your list. Take note of the many positive traits you have in common with those who are looked upon favorably by your friends and family. Take notice as well of the negative qualities you share, and determine how best to change those behaviors into positive attributes. </li> <li>Identify Your Fears: Many times you may behave in certain ways because you are trying to compensate for fears. You may be trying to overcome insecurities, you may fear growing old, or you may fear failure. Trying to hide such fears can often lead us to behave in less than desirable ways as we try to outwardly appear stronger, braver, and more capable. Rather than fall into this trap, try to identify those fears that cause you to behave in a manner you may not be proud of. Then try to determine ways in which you can either overcome your insecurities or behave in a manner that is truer to the values you wish to exude. The next time you find yourself in a similar situation, allow yourself the opportunity for <a class="snap_shots" href="http://pos-psych.com/news/timothy-so/20080218636">self growth</a> by employing the new behaviors.</li></ul>Each person on this earth has characteristics that make them special, unique, and worthy. Rather than allowing yourself to fall into the trap of insecurity and self-deprecation, mentally review your list of personal heroes and remind yourself of all the positive attributes you share with them. If you need to, write them down and carry them with you, so all you have to do is pull out your list and read it from time to time. Taking the time to identify your personal heroes and find areas of comparison allows you to realize that you, too, have many positive attributes. Rather than get pulled down by uncertainty, mentally reaffirm to yourself that you share many strengths and abilities that your own role models possess. 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