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Jay White2008-04-07T10:01:07.236-05:0025 Statements to Happiness</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/07/2008 by Shanel Yang, of <a href="http://shanelyang.com/">Shanel Yang - Easy Steps to Success</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkspleen/941025276/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_okHIp0E7I/AAAAAAAABnE/FxIVL6hsqqs/s320/smile.png" alt=":}" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186497625871094706" title=":}" border="0" /></a>Seven years ago I came across this list. I don't recall where it came from but I do know that I couldn’t agree with even one of these statements. In fact, I found the very idea of anyone being able to agree with most of them absurd. I thought, “You gotta be kidding me! Who really goes through life THAT friggin’ happy?” For some reason, I kept the list. Over the years, I made it a goal to change myself or my life to eventually be able to say all of these statements with complete sincerity and heartfelt gratitude. I am surprised and pleased to realize I have finally succeeded with most of them. I still struggle with #19 sometimes. And, I’m not exactly sure if it’s such a bad thing to need to compete with others (#10) since competition is a great motivator. But, other than that, I’ve pretty much achieved the rest thanks to my new career as a writer. I’m lovin’ it! And, so, I present this list to you in the hopes that maybe it will inspire you, too, to do whatever it takes so that you can, in the not-too-distant future, likewise, enjoy all of these great things, too. 25 STATEMENTS TO HAPPINESS <ol><li>Most of the time, I have a great time! </li> <li>I am content with my professional career. </li> <li>I listen to my inner feelings and let them guide me. </li> <li>Every day, I laugh and smile a lot. </li> <li>I rarely become annoyed or angry. </li> <li>People in general like me and my company. </li> <li>I don’t get easily afraid of anything. </li> <li>I rarely feel <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/01/seek-and-destroy-your-stress.html">stressed out</a>. </li> <li>I adapt easily to <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/10/if-you-want-to-change-your-life-change.html">changing circumstances</a>. </li> <li>I don’t feel the need to compete with anybody. </li> <li>My life is a great adventure and so much fun! </li> <li>I don’t spend much time <a href="http://ririanproject.com/2007/04/01/see-how-easily-you-can-overcome-your-worries/">worrying</a>. </li> <li>The world is beautiful and full of opportunities. </li> <li>I <a href="http://www.diethack.com/2007/11/22-simple-tips-to-get-out-of-sleep-debt.html">sleep very well at night</a> and wake up refreshed. </li> <li>I usually <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/11/how-to-crush-your-losing-streak.html">focus on the solutions</a> and not the problems.</li> <li>I feel relaxed most of the time. </li> <li>I know my abilities and feel confident most of the time. </li> <li>I feel mostly fine, even when I’m alone. </li> <li>I have no regrets over past mistakes. </li> <li> To me, <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/09/how-to-diffuse-explosive-situation.html">arguments</a> are a waste of time. </li> <li>I’m always open to new ideas and concepts in my life. </li> <li>I <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/06/39-ways-to-live-and-not-merely-exist.html">live</a> the way I choose and I let others do that, too. </li> <li>I don’t blame or intimidate others to get what I want. </li> <li>If I’m not happy about something, I take the initiative to change it. </li> <li>I like myself the way I am.</li></ol>I know, I know. Crazy to be able to be this happy, isn’t it? But, I am. And, you can, too. Just keep your eyes on the prize. Do whatever you need to do to get there from here. And, never, ever give up. Be awesome! Be your own hero! - Shanel <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=ZcEOo4"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=ZcEOo4" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=TIiC7Jg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=TIiC7Jg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=e7MQgpg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=e7MQgpg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=xyJgjag"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=xyJgjag" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=yCtwpZg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=yCtwpZg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=ev55CUG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=ev55CUG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/265676880" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-04T09:48:54.778-05:00</updated><title type="text">A Money Hack to Revolutionize Your Money Management</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/04/2008 by <a href="http://youneedabudget.com/aboutus/">Jesse Mecham</a>, a personal budget guru and owner of <a href="http://youneedabudget.com/">You Need A Budget</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cosmic_bandita/2339192952/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_Y2EIp0E6I/AAAAAAAABm8/atpGfS_hSvY/s320/bills.png" alt="pay bills" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185391465633944482" title="Day 223...skills to pay the bills" border="0" /></a>The famous engineer-inventor Charles Kettering once said, "People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones." This money hack certainly falls into the "new" category. My challenge to you is to keep an open mind and not be like those people Charles Kettering was describing. In our quest for personal development, we soon discover that time is a scarce but vital resource. We need time to do those things necessary to focus on areas of our life that need improving. The other night I was looking over some language learning software and told my wife that I really wanted to learn Spanish. Her response was all too familiar, "That'd be great. But where will you find the time?" <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2006/07/how-i-bank-and-manage-cash.html">Money management</a> is one of those necessary evils that robs us of our precious time. The fact that it is necessary makes the case all more compelling to manage it so that the time spent is minimal. This one simple money hack will do just that. First, we need to look at where time is wasted. Find the Leak Before Bailing Water While my professional background is accounting, my passion has always been money management at the personal level. Over the past four years I've worked with hundreds of people -- teaching them how to manage their money more effectively in less time. One of the biggest time leaks I've found consistently with people earning anywhere from $40,000 to $150,000 is the timing of the payment of bills with the receipt of a paycheck. Most people manage their bill paying something like this: The bill arrives, account balances are checked, is money there? No. Set bill aside until money is there. (Time spent checking account balance but not actually paying the bill? A few minutes). Later that night the person thinks about the bill and mentally goes through some calculations to ensure that when the paycheck does arrive, there will be enough money to pay the bill. (Time spent thinking about something when no action can be taken? A few minutes). The next morning the person sees the bill on their desk, fridge, etc., and mentally notes that the bill will be paid when the paycheck arrives. (Less than a minute, but still a distraction). Two days later another bill arrives, account balance is checked again even though the situation hasn't changed. The bill is set aside until the money is there in a few days (Time spent without any result? A few more minutes). If you add more bills, more thinking and distraction without action, and the final payment of the bill, the total time spent paying bills is no longer just the time spent clicking the mouse or licking a stamp (I recommend clicking), but the time spent for all the non-value activities as well. Automatic bill paying does not solve this problem for 70% of the population, because that 70% of the population is living paycheck to paycheck. Online bill pay does do quite a bit to cut down on the actual bill paying time, but again, it does nothing to curb all the wasted time that comes as a result of having to constantly time the payment of bills with the arrival of paychecks. Fixing the Leak Allow me to describe the ideal process -- achievable by anyone: The bill arrives and is set aside. Once or twice per month all of the bills are paid. (Time spent? A few minutes). If you can setup automatic bill paying, the the entire process is limited to the time spent setting up the automatic bill paying and the occasional "sanity check" to ensure that everything is still working as intended. The idea behind fixing this leak is simple, while the implementation, depending on your circumstances, can appear daunting. The solution: Live this month, on last month's income. Imagine if, at the beginning of the month, you simply took all of your bills and paid them in one fell swoop? You wouldn't need to check your account balance, wouldn't need to be reminded multiple times about when the next paycheck would arrive (it already had, probably weeks before), and wouldn't have to do the same process multiple times, but could consolidate it into one batch. You're working in February, spending money you earned in January. Throughout the month of February, you're earning money and it's simply being set aside waiting for March. Once March arrives, you live on those February earnings. Not only does bill-timing-to-paychecks go away, but you also decrease your stress levels and increase your ability to make wiser financial decisions with the breathing room from not living right on the financial edge. As an added benefit, those people living on variable incomes now know exactly how much they have to work with for the month because they earned it last month. That associated stress is eliminated as well. This type of situation can be enjoyed by anyone if they're willing to make it happen. Now, let's not forget Mr. Kettering and maintain that open mind! Thousands of people have taken the plunge, cinched the belt for a bit, <a href="http://www.youneedabudget.com/2005/simple-ways-to-save-money-psych-yourself-to-save/">scraped together some savings</a>, sold some stuff, and built up what I call a "Buffer" fund that let them make it through the month without touching that month's paychecks. The result? They're now perpetually living on last month's income, which means time saved and stress avoided. -Jesse <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=b5h7jj"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=b5h7jj" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=hc3B3Zg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=hc3B3Zg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=fYQP6Ag"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=fYQP6Ag" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=byRnSBg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=byRnSBg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=8GhKn5g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=8GhKn5g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=OoHmmnG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=OoHmmnG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/264014634" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-03T09:45:44.961-05:00</updated><title type="text">8 Things a Pickup Artist Can Teach You About Seducing Your Spouse</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/03/2008 by <a href="http://thegrowinglife.com/2008/03/pleased-to-meet-you/">Clay Collins</a>, the author of <a href="http://thegrowinglife.com/">The Growing Life</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/waytru/1028497849/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_TqrYp0E5I/AAAAAAAABm0/mW4n4ug6fYw/s320/seduce.png" alt="seduction" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185027102083388306" title="seduction" border="0" /></a>In 2005, a book entitiled, The Game, hit The New York Times bestseller list and exposed to the world an underground community of pickup artists to the world. Intrigued by the The Game’s popularity, I read Neil Strauss’ book and was both shocked and awed by the seduction community and its sophisticated methods. Like most readers of The Game, I googled the more colorful pickup artists mentioned in the book, for example “Mystery” and “Lovedrop.” What I found was a series of internet message boards engineered to help pickup artists exchange information, advice, and experiences. While I did find the expected misogynists on seduction message boards, I also encountered a group of insatiable students of human psychology. Phrases like “social proof,” “real social dynamics,” “metaphorical buyer’s remorse,” and “demonstrations of higher value” were tossed around casually. Furthermore, there was an absence of the anticipated fratboy-esque dialog. Most surprisingly, however, I encountered more than a few married people who were using the methods, techniques, and philosophies of the seduction community to enliven their marriages and become more attractive to their partners. Here are 8 tips (of several more) these men learned from the seduction community about “picking up” their wives: <ol><li>Don’t be a puppy dog: Pickup artists often observe that “AFCs” (average frustrated chumps) follow beautiful women around like puppy dogs, trying to buy them drinks, and sycophantically sucking up to them. While it’s important to give your spouse attention and let them know you care, smothering is a bad idea and can extinguish passion. Give your spouse some space and room to breathe. As one pickup artist is famous for saying, “give them the gift of missing you.”</li> <li>Be occasionally unpredictable: In the right circumstances and the right contexts, unpredictability is exciting and interesting. If you and your spouse are stuck in some ruts, try switching things up and surprising them. Leave them trying to guess what you’ll do next. If you normally go out to eat on Thursday nights, try ordering takeout and bringing your spouse to roller derby bout instead.</li> <li>Don’t go on “dates”: Most pickup artists believe that traditional dates (like dinner and a movie) do nothing to create attraction. Instead, go to a busy street, buy ice-cream, and people watch, or go for a drive and find a makeout spot. You get the picture.</li> <li>Be interesting: Pickup artists often practice magic, know a thing or two about palmistry and handwriting analysis, and can tell a great story when needed. The intent is not to be a dancing monkey performing tricks on demand; rather, the goal is to be different, interesting, and memorable. While handwriting analysis or palmistry may get you nowhere with your spouse, learning to rock climb or play a banjo will introduce an additional attractive dimension to your personality. Showing your spouse how to rock climb, or playing the banjo for her, however, will be even more attractive.</li> <li>Talk slowly: Pickup artists often purchase voice recorders to help slow down and deepen their voice. Speaking slowly, deliberately, and with varied inflection implies confidence, which is the universal aphrodisiac.</li> <li>Be decisive: Pickup artists train to be decisive, and when they suggest a date they always have a time, a date, and a place in mind. None of this “I’d like to do whatever you want to do” stuff. Decisiveness is sexy, and one can be decisive without being pushy or overpowering. If you suggest a date, then know where you want to go, what time you want to be there, and what you want to do afterwards. If your spouse wants to do something else then that’s fine, but try to always have a plan. Decision making can be exhausting, especially after a long day of work, so be willing to relieve your spouse of that role and create experiences.</li> <li>Two steps forward, one step back: With this mantra, pickup artists learn to create expectation during, um…, times of closeness. If you’re in the middle of kissing, then stop for a bit, let expectations build, and then resume and let things build up to the next level. Try stopping again at that point to let expectations build once again. Maintain this pattern for as long as you can and you’ll drive your spouse crazy (in a good way).</li> <li>Never ever be negative: The consensus in the seduction community is that negativity kills attraction and Neil Strauss, author of The Game, is known for giving away a dollar each time he makes a negative comment. While giving away money might be too strong of a medicine for your taste, know that the elimination of negativity and negative comments will likely do wonders for your marriage.</li></ol>Good luck tonight! -Clay <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=gXCeQu"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=gXCeQu" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=eR85w6g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=eR85w6g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=dmJgeng"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=dmJgeng" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=kHVG40g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=kHVG40g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=BKsHiyg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=BKsHiyg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=JKubphG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=JKubphG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/263376537" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-02T15:42:04.244-05:00</updated><title type="text">Take the Road Less Traveled</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/02/2008 by <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/about/">David B. Bohl</a>, the author of <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/">Slow Down Fast</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/67114894@N00/152357087/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/R_Pt1Ip0E4I/AAAAAAAABms/L_-xVmPSNB4/s320/road.png" alt="The Road Less Traveled" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184749093145285506" title="The Road Less Traveled" border="0" /></a>In life, there are two paths available to each of us. Which path we travel is determined entirely by our own actions, our decisions, and our priorities. It is decided by our character – the ability to make the <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/blog/action-or-inaction-which-will-you-regret-more/">right choice</a>, even if it is not the easy choice. <blockquote>“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” - Matthew 7:13-14</blockquote>In life, we are faced with decisions each day, some that are easy, and some that may be very difficult. The decisions we make and how we choose to deal with individual circumstances determines which road we are traveling. Remaining on the narrow road takes a great deal of thought, concentration, and dedication. An important step in the ongoing process of personal development is to be able to discern between the broad road and the narrow road, and then choose the correct path. The Broad Road This road is often known as “the path of least resistance.” When we travel the broad road we compromise our beliefs rather than fight for what is dear to us. Or we may not even know yet what really is important. Traveling the broad road means not having to make difficult decisions. Instead, we bestow the power to make those decisions on someone else, burdening them with our responsibilities. Or we make the choices that lead to a more comfortable life, but provide little in the way of fulfillment. The broad road may provide a sense of achievement through the accumulation of riches, but such a road will usually leave the soul wanting for a life with deeper meaning. The Narrow Road Taking the narrow road is usually the more difficult choice, and involves selflessness and personal awareness. This road is not for the selfish, as it involves giving of yourself for the good of others. Although the narrow road can be a challenging one, it is full of rewards along the way that provide great happiness and fulfillment. When you come home from work, exhausted from too many hours in the office and not enough hours spent sleeping, and your little boy asks you to play ball with him, you are being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road. Those who travel the broad road will divert the child’s attention to something else, while the person traveling the narrow road will go outside and savor the opportunity to play. When you see a colleague engaging in unethical behavior at work, you are being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road. Those on the broad road will choose to ignore the behavior, as long as it does not involve personal repercussions. The person traveling the narrow road will feel compelled to address the employee or go to a supervisor. There are many decisions to be made in life, all of them placed at our feet so we may learn to develop a strong moral character. We are constantly being asked to choose between the broad road and the narrow road, and can stray off of either path quite easily. Knowing the Difference For some people, knowing the difference between the broad road and the narrow road can be a challenge. A simple way to decide which path you are on is to ask yourself if the actions you are taking provide any benefit to others. This is particularly important when it comes to decisions regarding family, and the person who is serious about personal development will make the choice that benefits the family. Another simple way to realize the difference between the broad road and the narrow road is to ask yourself whether you are being asked to do something hard. If you can honestly say you have a difficult task or a tough decision to make, you can bet you are being asked to choose which path to take. The most important aspect of personal development with regard to the narrow road is wanting to make the difficult decision. When this happens, you realize the value in traveling the narrow road and are open to the wondrous experiences traveling this little inhabited path might provide. 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