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Jay White2008-04-23T16:06:28.627-05:00All We Need is Love? Wrong! Here are 6 Ways to Improve your Relationship</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/23/2008 by Jodie Clements, of <a href="http://www.yadaspeak.com/">Yadaspeak.com</a>.</h7> </div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedrosimoes7/347889430/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SA-jitH2MKI/AAAAAAAABrk/Obkhcss_HXY/s320/love.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192548712004858018" title="couple in love" border="0" /></a>Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all heard it before. The Beatles sang about it, thousands have written about it, countless young hopefuls have pondered it…. 'All you need is love'. (Or, so they say). With today's divorce rate climbing faster than you can swallow a slice of wedding cake, it seems that we need a lot more than just a bit of love to make our relationships go the long haul. The cold hard truth is this: having your dream relationship fall out of the sky, into your lap and spending the rest of your life 'happily ever after' with zero effort on your part - is about as likely as finding a pork chop at a bar-mitzvah. It's true. HowEVER…recognizing what you have in your hands, appreciating it and working on it TOGETHER to make your relationship everything you ever dreamed of, is actually far more attainable than you can possibly imagine. And, pretty easy too… <ol><li>Give exactly what you want to get: Try not to think about what you are getting; focus on what you are giving. If you want a partner that is more thoughtful, attentive, romantic, whatever, become that way yourself and you'll be surprised how the other side reacts. It's amazing; partners tend to mirror each other's behavior. </li> <li>Remember your partner is not a band-aid: It's easy to assume that your partner was put on this earth to heal every old wound you ever had. Not so; your partner is human and they are more than likely dragging enough of their own baggage to fill JFK airport. Remember that you are the only person that can heal you. You are also the only person responsible for your own happiness. The realization of this is more liberating than you can imagine and opens you up to endless personal growth possibilities that will in turn, no doubt, reflect positively on your relationship. </li> <li>Being in a relationship never made anyone blind: Jealousy. A tricky one. Try to remember that mad love does not necessarily make either of you blind. By that I mean, it's inevitable that he will raise the odd eyebrow at your new sexy next-door neighbor with that itzi-bitzi mini skirt, just as that man in line at the post office the other day, may have made your heart go 'boom boom' (or vice versa). We are human. There will always be moments when we may be attracted to others. However, we have the power of CHOICE. We can be attracted, but choose our partner. In the face of jealously, letting your partner know that you constantly and consciously <a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/01/50-ways-to-be-romantic.html">choose them</a>, on a daily basis, can really strengthen your bond. </li> <li>Say what you mean, mean what you say: Ladies, say what you mean! That means: no hints, no double messages and no saying the complete opposite and expecting your partner to miraculously become clairvoyant. Contrary to popular belief, guys are not mind readers! Guys, you too - communication is KEY to a good relationship. Allow yourselves the pleasure of having a conversation that lasts more than halftime of a football game! A wise person once told me to "marry someone you can talk to". When we are old and grey, talking will count for more than we can imagine today. </li> <li>Always assume your partner's intentions are good: A little tolerance goes a VERY long way. Count to 10 before pulling your hair out, screaming your head off or microwaving your partner's iPod next time they do something that irritates you. Try to always assume that your partner means well, despite their sometimes incredibly infuriating actions. 9 times out of 10, they probably do not know the effects that their annoying little habits have. Breathe out…then talk it out. </li> <li>Remember the virtues of friendship: Seems obvious doesn’t it? But many people have relationships with people that they either don't actually like, or are not friends with. Make your partner your best friend. Be reliable like you would be with your best friend. Be there like you would for a best friend. Be supportive, loving, kind and everything else, in good times and bad, just like you would for your best friend. Get this one nailed and everything else should pretty much take care of itself. </li></ol>So that's it, six tips for a relationship designed to make sure he or she will always 'love you, yeah, yeah, yeah'… Good luck to us all. -Jodie <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=6BgtSt"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=6BgtSt" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=zCy5qjg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=zCy5qjg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=V1gI2Mg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=V1gI2Mg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=Kf99p4g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=Kf99p4g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=T3foiyg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=T3foiyg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=i16HXEG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=i16HXEG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/276433060" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-23T09:25:29.189-05:00</updated><title type="text">Better Time Management Through Better Focus</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/23/2008 by <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/about/">David B. Bohl</a>, the author of <a href="http://www.slowdownfast.com/">Slow Down Fast</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/clanlife/10507560/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SA9GSdH2MJI/AAAAAAAABrc/SAH69n4tJWA/s320/multi.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192446178250600594" border="0" /></a>In today’s hectic, multi-tasking society it can be difficult to maintain your focus on a project. We become easily distracted by many things – co-workers, the telephone, e-mail, or the television. We also lose our focus as we try to juggle several projects at once, finding ourselves pulled in many directions. In order to accomplish more during your day, you must learn the technique of focusing your attention on one thing at a time. The more thought you can dedicate to one project, the quicker you will be able to complete it. Honing your ability to focus as a time management technique will translate directly into greater success completing your projects, and a greater amount of free time once you are finished. <ul><li>Keep a Calendar: Schedule time to work on projects, then make sure nothing interrupts you. This may mean turning off your email program, your instant messenger, etc. Every time you switch your thoughts away from your project to answer an e-mail, take a phone call, chat with a co-worker, or watch something on television, it takes your mind time to readjust to the project and regroup the necessary information. If you have 100 such distractions each day – which is entirely possible in a busy office – you could easily lose ½ to one hour of productive time. That adds up to between 10 and 20 hours a month – enough for an extra day or two off! </li> <li>One Thing at a Time: Do not switch back and forth between tasks or projects. Each time you move away from a project and then return to it later, it takes your brain a certain amount of time to dig around for all of the information it needs to focus on your goal. You will greatly increase your productivity if you can work one project through to completion before moving on to another project. This allows your brain to compile all of the necessary information, then hang onto it until you are through without losing time switching back and forth. </li> <li>Have a Plan: Some people work blindly, without any idea of where they are going with a project. Formulate a set of goals or a roadmap to a particular objective before you sit down to work on a project. Stabbing at it blindly will get you nowhere, and you may even find yourself making mistakes that need to be corrected later. Having an idea of where you want to take your project will help you work more efficiently. </li> <li>Control Your Thoughts: Intrusions from the telephone, from friends, and from co-workers are not the only distractions that can derail your efficiency. Your own mind can sabotage your efforts to work quickly, quietly, and concisely.</li></ul>As you notice unrelated thoughts invading your head, acknowledge them and then consciously remove them from your mind. Put them to bed for the moment and return to the task at hand. Occupy your mind by musing about your project, keeping the thoughts related to it at the forefront of your mind. As you practice quieting your mind, you will notice it becomes easier and easier. Eventually you will be able to wipe your mind of all irrelevant thoughts and keep them at bay without ever making a conscious effort to do so. When preparing to begin work on a project or task, prepare the area so it is free of distractions. Have your secretary answer the phone or allow the machine to pick up, close your e-mail accounts, and turn off the radio or television. Some people like the background noise from the television or radio, but the noise from it can be more distracting than helpful. The mind was not designed to think in parallel realms, and if it finds something on the radio more interesting than your project, your efficiency is going to suffer. Try to employ these tips for successful time management. Once you have developed your concentration skills, you may feel like you suddenly have been given more hours in your workday. The truth is, you will have given yourself the gift of time. Who knows, maybe you can spend that well deserved hour at the local spa after work, letting a nimble fingered masseuse erase the stresses of the day from your memory. -David <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=nxx8dO"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=nxx8dO" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=WQpRZ5g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=WQpRZ5g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=9sG6uFg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=9sG6uFg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=j3Jhbdg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=j3Jhbdg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=sdcSoDg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=sdcSoDg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=XZhat1G"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=XZhat1G" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/276208672" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-22T12:57:46.549-05:00</updated><title type="text">2 Simple Ingredients That Will Boost your Morning Energy</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/22/2008 by Dan Boyle NASM certified personal trainer and owner of <a href="http://www.theartofweightlifting.com/">The Art of Weightlifting</a> and <a href="http://www.liftingrevolution.com/blog">Lifting Revolution</a>.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/whyld/2282216204/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SA4Rt9H2MII/AAAAAAAABrU/HP6RYCniEP8/s320/pushup.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192106901604020354" border="0" /></a> You have probably read that breakfast, as part of your morning routine, <a href="http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/lose-weight-eat-breakfast">is extremely important</a> to losing weight. I am not discrediting the preachers of this sentiment because not only am I one of them, but they are 100% correct. However, this is only a portion of the ritual you should begin. There should also be some form of exercise involved, albeit a jog, weight workout, or something simpler. Realizing that money is tight and time is tighter, let's discuss a quick workout that doesn't cost a penny and can be knocked out in no time. Short and free, this routine will boost your morning energy level exponentially, especially if your current workout only consists of a shower. Sound good? Great. Let's agree that if you are not working out already, you will try this tomorrow morning. Any takers? Is anyone willing to make a small change to their morning in the interest of increased energy, a better mood, and oh, less fat? Good. Let's go. When you get up, right after you eat your breakfast, do this push up routine: <ol><li>Muster up some will, get down and pump out as many push ups as you can do. </li><li> Wait 30 seconds </li><li>Pump out more push ups (again as many as you can do) </li><li>Wait 30 seconds </li><li>Pump out more pushups (again as many as you can do and don't hold back… really push it!)</li></ol>When you are done and you stand up, whatever the tired, sluggish, or "get out of my face" morning feeling you might have felt will have been replaced with an "I am the <a href="http://www.urbanup.com/22202">shiznit</a>!!!" feeling. Don't be surprised if you feel like pumping out a fast core routine. In fact go for it! Here is a quick Core Routine that you can do:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/article-detail.asp?articleid=1111&vote=4"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 15px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SA3mI9H2MHI/AAAAAAAABrM/TaGar-sbzGk/s320/scissor.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192058986948866162" title="Click through for Video" border="0" /></a><ol><li>Lie down on the floor</li><li>Lift your feet off the floor to about 6 inches while keeping your lower back on the floor </li><li>Scissor kick for 1 minute </li><li>Rest 30 seconds </li><li>Scissor kick for another minute</li></ol>Good for you. You have done more than 99% of people typically do in the morning. It will also follow you into your day and make you be a lot more productive. Not only have you eaten a great tasty breakfast that has revved up your metabolism, but you have shocked your muscles and woken them up to further boost your metabolism. Hey you are feeling pretty darn great… get off to work and kick some butt; life is good. You just went through the ultimate morning… if you are one of the few that workout in the morning, don't worry I have something of for you too. -Dan <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=0zhADl"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=0zhADl" border="0"></img></a><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=8z7Yp4g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=8z7Yp4g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=VZSzueg"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=VZSzueg" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=EtaUU5g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=EtaUU5g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=uYWQU6g"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=uYWQU6g" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=hICaYcG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=hICaYcG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/275504346" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-04-22T08:39:21.140-05:00</updated><title type="text">2 Ways To Fish For Friends By Using The Right Bait</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 4/22/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the <a href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/">Practical Personal Development</a> blog.</h7></div> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/binkley27/188020609/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SAytcDuvloI/AAAAAAAABq8/NSkZyClq2Lw/s400/fishing.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191715168000644738" title="Doing a Little Fishing" border="0" /></a>For many years during my childhood, friends would come in and out of my life. I recall this being a hit to my self-esteem at times, while I was perfectly able to assign this blame to others as well. I mean it's perfectly feasible that my ex-friends and my ex-girlfriends were just sucky people, so why would I want to be friends with them anyway? After years of people coming in and out of my life I made an important realization. The friends that I would have, and the people that would want to stay in my life, were directly correlated to how I would treat them. About a year ago I was sitting at Dmitry's apartment. One of my best friends, that I often work out the details of this world with. I said to him "I want to possess the power to make deep personal connections with people within 15 seconds of meeting them." Fifteen seconds seemed like it was enough time, and a deep personal connection presented itself as a very admirable goal. On many levels I have been able to accomplish this goal with people in my life. The results were astounding but they didn't come with me gaming the system or manipulating people. They came with two important distinctions. The last point in my personal mission statement now reads, "The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possibility of being someone who operates with the greatest good of all in mind, and the possibility of living in the present." <ol><li>Have Their Greatest Good In Mind. This one distinction allowed me to come up to any person without fear. Whether it's a high powered CEO that I want to talk success with or a very pretty girl that I want to introduce myself to. When what you come with is the intention to bring value to a person you develop a very strong rapport that can be sensed as soon as people look at you. You've heard people say "that guy looks slimy (car salesmen!) but I can't put my finger on it". Having people's good in mind gives people the exact opposite reaction to you. It's pleasant, comforting, and makes people want to develop a deeper connection with you, even after 15 seconds. </li> <li>Remarkable Presence equals Oozing Charisma. The reason that being really present with someone gives off such a high level of charisma and makes them want to be around you is that it makes them feel important. Think about it. You create a moment where that person is the only thing that matters. You're listening to every word that comes out of their mouth as you watch their eyes with patience and understanding.</li></ol>The friends I have now are what I consider high quality people. Ambitious, high moral value, easy going, and relentlessly trustworthy. It's important that I have a high opinion of my friends. After all, we are all the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time. 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