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Jay Whitenoreply@blogger.com2008-06-11T12:07:26.672-05:00No Takebacks! Five Playground Rules to Live By</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 6/11/2008 by Sara who offers up a daily dose of sanity at <a href="http://www.onsimplicity.net/">On Simplicity</a>.</h7></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/snavarro/456166793/"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SE_YwxH0itI/AAAAAAAAB04/qpVysmKgI0c/s400/park.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210621626222414546" border="0" /></a>Remember how simple everything was back in grade school? You said exactly what you meant, you had a clear sense of right and wrong, and <span style="font-style: italic;">everything</span> was possible. Well, those classic playground rules of your grade school years still apply to life. And best of all, they can make your life easier and possibly more fun.<br /><br />Playground rules work because they're clear-cut. If you're anything like I was, you didn't put up much of a fight when you got called out with one of these rules. You were busted and you knew it! The result was that you spent less time fighting verbal battles and debating rules, and more time playing. (Ah, the sweet, severely bruised intoxication of a Red Rover victory...) Take a second look at some of the classic playground rules and you might be surprised by how they still apply to your life.<br /><ul><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">No takebacks</span>. Once you give something, you can't ask for it back. Whether it's a physical gift, a gift of money, or a gift of time, asking for a takeback is pointless. It shows bad faith and makes you untrustworthy. Even more importantly, you can't take back your words. Once they're out there, you have to deal with the consequences, however unpleasant they may be. When you decide to give something, give it freely with no strings attached. If you don't, be prepared for raspberries and wedgies.</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">No cutting. </span>There are very few shortcuts in life. If you find one, be sure that you're not just cutting in front of someone else by taking it. Cheating your way to the front of the line may save you a few seconds now, but the consequences can last for years (or at least through recess). Cutting generates ill will, because it's a clear signal that you put your own needs in front of others. Don't be surprised when you get picked last for the next round of dodgeball... or raises. </li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Take turns. </span>If you expect to have friends to play with, you're going to have to learn to take turns. Taking turns is about respecting your playmates and looking for the best solution for everyone involved. So in your work life and love life, it pays to take turns. This can mean sharing the spotlight. It can mean letting your partner choose the movie (even if that means seeing Bad Boys for the 80th time). It can also mean stopping to really listen to the other person's side of the conversation. There are very few times in life when taking turns doesn't benefit you.</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">No do-overs. </span>In four-square, there are no "do overs." The same is true of life. If you screw up, you rarely get a second chance. Accept this and move on. Instead of arguing or pleading for a second try, figure out what went wrong and try to fix it. No one respects the kid who constantly requests a do-over, so accept your mistakes and focus on improvement.</li><br /><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">When it's time to go home, find a partner to cross the street with. </span>There's safety in numbers and two heads are better than one. When it's time to head in a new direction, find someone to help you. Whether that person is a family member, a spouse, a partner, a friend, or a dog, they can be your support system to get you through life's hazards. Can you do things on your own? Absolutely. Should you lean on this person? Not necessarily. But whether you need them or not, having a friend to hold your hand as you cross the street can make the trip a pleasure.</li></ul>Playground rules are about finding the easiest, most efficient way to work together. Whenever you're in a tight jam, remember the simple beauty of kid logic. Leave the complicated justifications and rationalizations out of it. Embrace your inner kid and see where it takes you. And above all, play nice.<br /><br />-Sara<br style="clear: both;"/> <a href="http://www.pheedo.com/click.phdo?s=5c6e9093d6dbd2fa84f74dfe493d7849"><img alt="" style="border: 0;" border="0" src="http://www.pheedo.com/img.phdo?s=5c6e9093d6dbd2fa84f74dfe493d7849"/></a> <img src="http://www.pheedo.com/feeds/tracker.php?i=5c6e9093d6dbd2fa84f74dfe493d7849" style="display: none;" border="0" height="1" width="1" alt=""/> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=ZV5fGd"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=ZV5fGd" border="0"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=1be4Ei"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=1be4Ei" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=gp0Oli"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=gp0Oli" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=1B2p0i"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=1B2p0i" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=5TBCni"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=5TBCni" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?a=xxS51I"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/DumbLittleMan?i=xxS51I" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DumbLittleMan/~4/309655049" height="1" width="1"/></content><author><name>Jay White</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email></author></entry><entry><updated>2008-06-10T13:47:45.232-05:00</updated><title type="text">7 Ways To Breathe Life Back Into Your Marriage</h3><content type="html"><div id="write"><h7 class="write">Written on 6/10/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the <a href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/">Practical Personal Development</a> blog.</h7></div><br /><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_dH0q9hvpVHg/SE7LQZ0tvDI/AAAAAAAAB0w/mTWrEc1mCIw/s320/love.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210325301584575538" border="0" />After years of marriage, mind numbing 9-5s, and the same boring food, fun, and sex, even the best marriage can become stale. By designing our lives from a place of endless possibilities we can literally blow the socks off our relationships and create a world of fun. <p>When boringness is so prevalent that you hit the snooze button 4 times before dragging yourself out of bed, you know you aren't living the life you love. You cultivate a new love for love and for the sweetheart in your life, and here's how...<br /></p><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 7 Ways To Breathe Life Back Into Your Marriage</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">1. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Public Display of Team Effort.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> </span>When the two of you are in front of other people, make it a rule to not contradict each other. Even when you know your partner is dead wrong, you can still reserve the option to take them aside and discuss the subject with them or wait until later. In this way you are avoiding causing embarrassment to them or undermining them.</p> <b>2.<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> Cheerleading Unit</span>.</b> Whenever you talk to people about your spouse make sure you tell them every little thing that you adore and admire about your spouse. When that person talks to your spouse in the future they will be sure to mention all the amazing things you have said and about how much love you have for them.</p> <b>3. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Date Your Wife.</span></b> Instead of falling back into the same week-to-week rut, go out on a fun, spontaneous, and easy-going date. No picking fights, no arguing, just taking pleasure in what you have and loving each other. Be young and sexy again!</p> <b>4 .<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Create Bucket Lists.</span></b> A <a href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2008/01/16/using-a-bucket-list-to-enhance-your-relationships/" mce_href="http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2008/01/16/using-a-bucket-list-to-enhance-your-relationships/">bucket list</a> is a goal setting tool used strictly for fun activities. That's basically what you do, create a future of fun, dining, entertainment, adventure and exploration together on paper. This future will determine who you are being in the present, as well as the anticipation and teamwork that will be produced as you work towards achieving this together.</p> <b>5. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Give It To Them.</span></b> Find out what your partner likes, such as you bringing them dinner while they watch the game (for him), or pouring a glass of wine and just listening attentively (for her) [you get the point], and just being fully giving. It is within your giving that your own love grows for that person. You can't make them love you more, but you can both make yourselves love each other more.</p> <b>6. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Don't Make Them Wrong.</span></b> This is probably the hardest one of all. It means a total acceptance of both who they are and the decisions they make. What makes this hard is when your spouse is doing something that is killing themselves, like smoking for example, and you have to completely allow them to decide on their own and let them be.</p> <b>7. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Share The Landmark Forum.</span></b><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);"> </span>When Marina and I did the <a href="http://landmarkeducation.com/" mce_href="http://landmarkeducation.com/">landmark forum</a> together, it brought our extraordinary relationship to new heights that I didn’t expect. At the point I couldn’t even imagine getting any closer to her, despite the fact that we were getting closer each day. As an example, if our relationship was at a 15 out of 10 already, it hit 30 over the course of a weekend. I would say that we got our money’s worth.</p><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >Use the comment box below to share what you do to spice up the relationships in your life. The top answers will be picked and put into a follow up article called 'X Dumb Little Ways To Spice Up Your Relationships'. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Be fun and creative</span>.</span></p>-Alex<br style="clear: both;"/> <img alt="" style="border: 0; height:1px; width:1px;" border="0" src="http://www.pheedo.com/img.phdo?i=a3a159273857ed67c23e1f5474d3d535" height="1" width="1"/> <img src="http://www.pheedo.com/feeds/tracker.php?i=a3a159273857ed67c23e1f5474d3d535" style="display: none;" border="0" height="1" width="1" alt=""/> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?a=wlqYBm"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~a/DumbLittleMan?i=wlqYBm" border="0"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://www.pheedo.com/click.phdo?x=66b2c05330304248a29f2f3cb0c4f3b6&u=%%UNIQUEID%%"><img src="http://www.pheedo.com/img.phdo?x=66b2c05330304248a29f2f3cb0c4f3b6&u=%%UNIQUEID%%" border="0"/></a> </td></tr> <td><BR><BR> <p> <a href="/dmoz/"> Top</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Arts/"> Arts</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Business/"> Business</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Computers/"> Computers</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Games/"> Games</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Health/"> Health</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/Kids_and_Teens/"> Kids</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/News/"> News</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Recreation/"> Recreation</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Reference/"> Reference</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Regional/"> Regional</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Science/"> Science</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Shopping/"> Shopping</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Society/"> Society</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/Sports/"> Sports</a> | <a href="http://www.brujula.net/dmoz/World/"> World</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/dmoz/World/"> Languages</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/news/"> News</a> | <a href="http://www.ba.net/news/"> Blogs</a> <HR NOSHADE> <p><center> <!!--#exec cmd="/cgi-bin/banner"--> <table><td> <script type="text/javascript"> GA_googleFillSlot("news-banner-bottom"); </script> <td> <a href="http://www.ba.net/about/"> <img src="http://ba.net/gifs/adbrite-your-ad-here-banner.gif" style="background-color:#CCCCCC;border:none;padding:0;margin:0;" alt="Your Ad Here" width="11" height="60" border="0" align=right></a> </table> <p><br> <form method="POST" action="http://www.brujula.net/cgi-bin/buscar"> <input name="text" size="45"> <input type="submit" value="Search"> <input type="hidden" name="buscador" value="categorias-en"> </form> <br> <font size=1> <b>BA.net Brujula.Net</b> © 2008 <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/acerca/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">advertising</a> <br><br> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">english</a> <A HREF="http://www.brujula.net/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">español</a> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/italia/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">italiano</a> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/germany/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">germany</a> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/japan/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">japan</a> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/france/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">france</a> <A HREF="http://www.ba.net/world/" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">more</a> <A HREF="javascript:window.external.AddFavorite(window.location.href,document.title)" STYLE="text-decoration:none;font-size:xx-small">bookmark</A> </center> </td> </TABLE> </TD> <TD valign="top"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="23" height="1"></TD> <TD bgcolor="#333366" valign="top"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="3" height="1"></TD> </TR> <TR bgcolor="#ffffff"> <TD colspan="2" bgcolor="#FFCC66" valign="top"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="1" height="24" border="0"></TD> <TD colspan="3" valign="top"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="1" height="24" border="0"></TD> <TD rowspan="2" colspan="2" bgcolor="#333366" valign="middle"> <CENTER> <FONT color="#FFFFFF"><B>></B> </FONT> </CENTER> </TD> </TR> <TR> <TD colspan="5" bgcolor="#333366" valign="top"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="1" height="3"></TD> </TR> <TR bgcolor="#666699"> <TD colspan="8"><IMG src="http://www.brujula.net/gifs/sep3horiz.gif" width="1" height="10"></TD> </TR> </TABLE> </BODY></HTML>