Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life

Friday Finale - Don't Forget Your Mom

2008-05-09T12:42:00.007-05:00

Happy Friday everyone. In a week where I spent more time in the car than the office, it's nice to be sitting here in the home office while wearing vintage 1992 jean shorts, cleaning up tasks, and chatting with Glen about blog life.

As the day comes to an end, it's time to remind you of a lesson that I learned about Mother's Day a couple years back. It was a rookie mistake really. Ready for it? Ok, here it is:

If you have young kids, be sure they get something for their mother. Just because your wife isn't your mom, doesn't mean you're exempt!

It means a lot so get into the spirit and have your kids draw something special so you can put it into a frame; it doesn't have to be much. However, the thought will mean a lot to both of you.

Ok, here's the goods:

Found on the Web:

20 Ways to Combat Allergies - Yes sneezy, the season is upon us.

Bruce Lee’s Top 7 Fundamentals for Getting Your Life in Shape - Great article, Bruce Lee was wiser than most give him credit for.

7 Ways to Beat the Buffet - I love Mother's Day Brunch, I'm just not fond of the food hangover I have on Monday.

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master - Slowly learn each of them at some point in you life.

The 100 top Web apps for 2008 - If for no other reason, I like this because I can see what I missed

11 steps to a better brain - Damn, I only have 7 years! - "Around the age of 40, honest folks may already admit to noticing changes in their mental abilities. This is the beginning of a gradual decline that in all too many of us will culminate in full-blown dementia."

Five Ways to Cope When Your Child Returns to the Nest

2008-05-09T10:26:00.004-05:00

Written on 5/09/2008 by Alex Blackwell, who writes about creating success and happiness for the rest of your life at The Next 45 Years.

Final exams at Kansas University begin next week. My daughter, Caitlin, has been working very hard and will successfully complete her freshmen year in very good academic standing. Caitlin has learned a lot about being on her own and other important life skills, too.

However, she has already informed her mother and me that her car will be packed and she will be ready to pull out of Lawrence, Kansas and head back home as soon as she completes her last exam. While Mary Beth and I are looking forward to spending the summer with our daughter, we just hope her return to the nest will be equally successful.

In anticipation of her return home, my wife and I have been discussing how to embrace this change to our routine. We want the next few months to be happy and productive ones for the sake of the entire family. We have settled on these five ways to cope when our daughter comes home, again. I hope you will find these useful too:

Establish Some Ground Rules. The first place to start is with establishing, and communicating, the fact that the house rules have not gone away even though Caitlin has been away from the house for the past 10 months. Things like curfew times, noise levels, keeping up with assigned household chores and friends coming over will all be redefined and enforced.

Being part of a family is a privilege. The ability to enjoy a comfortable home, food in the fridge, cable television and a computer with a fast Internet connection all come with responsibilities. The most fundamental of these responsibilities is to be accountable and to follow the family-approved rules. No one is exempt for these and there are no exceptions.

Set Boundaries. I have resigned myself to the fact that the peace and quiet Mary Beth and have enjoyed since last August will be interrupted over the summer months. This is not an indictment or criticism about Caitlin’s behavior; it’s just being honest to say our house has a lot more energy in it when our daughter is here.

Caitlin’s Contributions. In addition to respecting the house rules, there is also an expectation our daughter will contribute to the family in other ways, too. Helping with dinner, getting Emily, our younger daughter, to and from where she needs to go, and pitching in with the laundry will all be expected contributions.

When children return home, they should not be considered as invited guests, but as fully engaged and productive members of the family. Their contributions, however, are not limited to how they can help their parents; their presence, spirit and love are all valuable contributions as well.

Cultivate an Adult Relationship. It’s very fulfilling watching our children grow up and grow in to becoming mature and responsible adults. An expectation Catlin may have this summer is to be treated as an adult – I can’t wait to meet her expectation.

We invest so much time and effort in our children when they are young. This investment yields very, very favorable returns when we get to experience them as adults. The years of reading bedtime stories and believing in Santa Claus are indeed magical. The time spent talking about who should win the next presidential election over a cold beer can be just as delightful. Gradually, and without much notice, our children become our friends.

I’m looking forward to finding out more about the reasons behind Caitlin’s choice for president. I’m looking forward to nurturing an adult relationship with my daughter this summer.

Create an Exit Strategy. As the August days begin to get shorter, so will our time with Caitlin. With every homecoming, there is also a farewell. When my daughter pulls up into the driveway in a couple of weeks, no one will be thinking about the day she will need to back out and head for Lawrence. It will be important to drop-in reminders of the inevitable departure along the way.

Within a few days of her return home, we will quickly develop a new routine and grow accustomed to her new-found presence in the house. We will also need to help transition her back to her college life.

Shopping for new items for her apartment, gradually giving her more autonomy as the summer wanes into the fall, and planning the Thanksgiving holiday details when we will unite as a family again, are all things we can do to help with the transition from the nest and back into her independence.

Thomas Wolfe may suggest “you can’t go home again,” but you can welcome your child home again and begin building a new relationship that can be sustained for the rest of your lives together.

-Alex

Productivity v. Ingenuity

2008-05-09T05:26:00.006-05:00

Written on 5/09/2008 by Marelisa Fabrega, Founder and CEO of marelisa-online.com and blogger at Abundance Blog.

Productivity usually refers to the amount of output produced relative to the amount of resources that go into the production, where the output is within a pre-determined parameter of quality. In the quest for increased productivity, solutions have been found that cover the gamut from automation and the creation of standard operating procedures, to providing ergonomic chairs for employees and raising the workplace temperature.

Books with titles such as Getting Things Done and others in the genre are constantly on the best sellers list. In addition, several blogs have been created with the express purpose of helping readers become more productive by hacking their lives, with advice such as: get up early; declutter your workspace; don’t go to meetings unless it’s indispensable that you be there, a meeting agenda has been prepared, and a moderator will be there to make sure that everyone sticks to the agenda; skim through reading material and delete e-mails ruthlessly; and so on.

Although pursuing productivity is laudable, more and more of what the world needs is not so much increased output, but ideas to solve complex problems. The problems being created by a population that is increasing exponentially and an environment that is on the verge of collapsing can only be solved by ingenuity, not by productivity. That is, the world doesn’t need productivity gurus as much as it needs alchemists.

Out With the Productivity Guru, In With the Alchemist
In the book, Unlimited Wealth, the brilliant economist Paul Zane Pilzer explains that for the past four hundred years virtually all economists have agreed on the notion of scarcity. That is, a society's wealth is determined by its supply of physical resources--its land, labor, minerals, water, and so on—and, as we know, these are finite resources. Pilzer goes on to argue that with today’s technology we now effectively live in a world of unlimited wealth, or in what he calls an Alchemic world.

Productivity is basically the management of resources. Although proper management of resources is a move in the right direction, innovation, creativity, whole-mind thinking, and big picture thinking—what is referred to as “alchemy” in this article--are what is truly needed. Below are two examples of alchemy at work.

In the 1960s it was widely predicted that the chronic food shortages suffered by India and Pakistan would result in mass starvation. However, the Indian government called on Norman Borlaug, a plant breeder born in Iowa, who--together with his team—had developed a special breed of dwarf wheat that resisted a wide spectrum of plant pests and diseases and produced two to three times more grain than the traditional varieties.

By teaching local farmers in the region how to cultivate this new strain of wheat properly, they achieved an astounding increase in the yield of wheat within the span of a few years, which saved over a billion people in India and Pakistan from starvation. Some credit Borlaug with having saved more human lives than any other person in history. The answer in this example wasn’t to devise a new process that would allow faster harvesting or to develop a new machine that would deliver pesticide more efficiently, but to create an entirely new breed of wheat.

Our second example of alchemy involves rice. Rice is the staple food in Asia and an important dietary component in the rest of the world. Given the rise in Earth's population from around 6.5 billion today to an estimated more than nine billion by mid-century, boosting rice harvests is essential. In addition, the price of rice and other cereals has surged in the past year in response to drought in the United States and Australia, and to incentives to grow biofuels rather than food crops.

In an article published in Nature Genetics this past Sunday, May 4th, it was announced that scientists in China have discovered that by manipulating a single gene in the rice plant they may be able to control rice yield, as well as its height and flowering time. Once again, it is this breakthrough that may be a crucial step in global efforts to increase crop yield, and not a new method to harvest rice more quickly or a device to make workers more comfortable as they harvest.

How to Become an Alchemist
You become an alchemist by developing both hemispheres of the brain. Efforts to increase productivity usually involve only the logical, analytical, left-side of the brain. In order to innovate, to think out of the box, to have intuitive flashes that lead to breakthroughs, and to be able to see the forest instead of just looking at the trees, you need to develop the right-side of the brain.

There are many ways to do this; a very effective way to develop whole brain thinking is through meditation and similar practices that induce the brain to function at the alpha frequency of mind. In addition, artistic pursuits such as drawing, creating mandalas, playing a musical instrument, and even creative writing can help you to develop the right-hemisphere of the brain.

Even people who plan their day to the T, treat their day-timer like the Bible, and know every productivity hack out there can become alchemists. You just have to be willing to create instead of organize, to synthesize instead of analyze, and to rely on what your intuition tells you instead of limiting yourself to the world shown to you by your five senses.

-Marelisa

7 Keys to DIY Graphic Design on No Budget

2008-05-08T05:03:00.003-05:00

Written on 5/08/2008 by Mike Reeves-McMillan who writes the blog Living Skillfully: Your Mind and Health.

Everyone talks about starting a business, launching a website, doing what you love, quitting your job, etc. That's great but regardless of what you may read, people do indeed judge a book by its cover. When you start that business or website, you will most likely need a logo or some kind of graphics to accompany your text.

For those of you that have the ideas and not the skills to design a new logo, poster, or cover page for your business plan, you can either dish out some money to have a pro do it or you can give it a shot yourself.

Clearly there is a time when a professional needs to get involved. However, I like doing it myself and I have a learned a lot in the process. Take these notes into consideration next time you have to get a creative project done on no budget:

Think few and simple: A highly-trained, experienced graphic designer can integrate a mass of disparate material into a good-looking whole. I can't, so I go minimalist. With the words, too. Less is more. Most people overwrite by 10%-25%; try cutting a tenth to a quarter of your text.

Every element you choose must reinforce your theme: An old-fashioned font on a technology announcement? Pink for something aimed at lawyers? Grey for something aimed at little girls? No. Just no. If it doesn't reinforce the theme, no matter how much you like it, don't use it. You can always use it for something else another time.

Get one, or maybe two, really strong graphic elements from one of the many sites where artists more skilled than you make their work freely available. My favorites are:
- stock.xchg. Stock photographs like you'd get from a pay site, well organized and easy to search.
- flickr. Thousands of mostly amateur, but often very skilled, photographers post here, and many of them let you use their photos.
- the Open Clip Art Library. Usually well-drawn and often completely without restrictions on usage. Unfortunately, the site isn't searchable. You can download the whole library for free, but it's large.
- deviantART. More emphasis on painting, drawing and digital art and less on photography.
- everystockphoto and PicFindr, which are search sites that search a number of different free photography sites. I find everystockphoto to be the more useful of the two. (Often, though, the best photos I find turn out to come from stock.xchg or flickr anyway.)
Make sure you check the usage conditions before you use a piece from these sites, as they do vary both between and within the sites. Familiarize yourself with the various Creative Commons licenses and what they permit, require and prohibit. Stock.xchg has its own usage terms, and individual contributors sometimes add other requirement such as attribution, linking to them, informing them or even asking permission from them before you use the work. Look underneath the photo to be sure. Flickr uses the Creative Commons licenses, and you can search by CC license either on Flickr itself or on flickrCC, which presents the pictures in an easy-to-view format.

For deviantART you will usually need to contact the artist to ask about usage. It's always courteous to let the artist know you're using their work in any case. And if you leave a comment on the piece of art you used, you have the opportunity to link back to your own site and promote it.

Use two, or maybe three, clean, legible fonts: A lot of amateur graphic design looks like an explosion in a font factory. One font for headings, one for body text, and maybe one other for special elements is the rule to go with. Look on your computer first - you probably have dozens of fonts already. If you don't have quite the right one, though, there are plenty of free font sites around. Two that are easy to use and well-organized are urbanfonts and better fonts.

Use three, maybe four, well-matched colors: Hands down the best site I've found for harmonizing colors is EasyRGB. It's for web designers, but there's no reason you can't use it in other projects too. Pick a main color and then get EasyRGB to show you good matches for it.

Use Inkscape to bring it all together: Inkscape is free software, and fairly easy to learn. You can do pretty much anything you need with it for basic graphic design.

Align the elements with each other so that the viewer's eye moves through them naturally and they seem related: I've used these principles to design several logos, a book cover for my novel (using an image from deviantART), and a poster for my stop-smoking clients (using an image from stock.xchg).

If you can afford it, of course, use a proper graphic designer; they're worth it. But zero-budget graphic design isn't as hard as you may have thought.

-Mike

5 Snacks That will Smash That Afternoon Groggy Feeling

2008-05-07T13:00:00.002-05:00

Written on 5/07/2008 by Garrett Whelan who writes about cooking for men or anyone trying to kick the fast food habit at FatBastardEats.com.

You should snack, a lot. During the day you should eat approximately 200 calories every 2 to 4 hours, both for health and productivity. If you let your blood sugar get too low, you could be on your way to some serious binge eating and desperate snack choices. In fact, 90% of your overeating could probably have been avoided if you ate a little before you got hungry.

But you don't plan to snack, so you overeat. Then what happens? Grogginess, sleepiness and the inevitable productivity plummet. Your response to said grogginess? Candy, sweets, coffee, and other quick fixes that cause quick blood sugar highs only to be followed by lower lows. The cycle continues forever until you actually go to sleep. Regular, planned snacking can avoid all this.

So how to we snack? Clearly we have to make some smart choices and they don't have to include baby carrots and diced apples. A snack should meet some physical needs (keeping our blood sugar from getting too low) and some mental needs (i.e. Brain Food!).

So we need snacks that meet the following 4 criteria:

It must have a low Glycemic Index. The higher the GI, the quicker your blood glucose levels will rise. If your blood sugar gets too high, your body releases insulin to bring it down. This makes you tired and hungry again right after you just ate. Lower carbs, more fat and fiber (to slow absorption) will mean snacks with a lower GI.

It must be filling. Ever take a pill in the morning and as soon as you turn around you can't remember if you took it or not? You don't want a snack like that.

It must be interesting to your mouth. Your mouth likes contrasts: sweet and sour. crunchy and chewy. We want a snack that uses this.

Ideally our snack is self-regulating. That means that we won't eat too much of it. This one is tougher, and we won't always find something that has this quality. In those cases we have to practice the dreaded art of self control.

Stumped for ideas? Here are 5 snacks (in no particular order) that fit that criteria and that you're probably not eating:

Spicy Nuts.
Now regular nuts meet our A, B and C requirements. They're crunchy and interesting and full of fat, fiber and protein. But if you had a trough of them at the office, you'd be buying new pants weekly. That's why I like spicy peanuts, they're self regulating. You can only eat as many as you can handle. I like Ass Kickin' Peanuts myself.
As an added bonus, snacking on these all day really builds up your tolerance for heat. So the next time you and your brother go out for Thai food you can make him look like a total wimp (I hate my brother).
Homemade Salsa and Tortilla Chips.
Tortilla chips with any dip are crunchy, creamy and low on the GI. Salsa is the best choice for a dip because it has the highest flavor/nutrition ratio and because when you make a batch it's good for a week. You can pack it up and take it to work, unlike guacamole, which might make it to the table before it turns brown.
And I say homemade because it's better, cheaper and super easy. I use the Alton Brown salsa recipe (halve that unless you're a pro linebacker) and I buy bulk tortillas from the supermarket and fry them up in some corn oil. In about 10 minutes I have a bag of chips at 1/6 the cost and they're restaurant quality.
Deviled Eggs.
Boiled eggs have the same benefits, but deviled eggs bring a little more flavor to the mouth party (yeah, I said that). They taste great, they're filling and they have 0 carbs which means they don't even register on the GI. I would call them self regulating because they are not easily packed and transported.
Half a Toasted Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich.
A whole sandwich is a bit too much for a snack, but a half is perfect. The peanut butter is the key part here, it's got enough fat, protein and fiber to keep the GI low. The honey provides a nice sweetness with fewer calories (sugar is only 80% as sweet as honey) and it won't create the purple slurm on one side of your sandwich like jelly will.
Don't skip the toasting part though. The toast has a crunchy outside, chewy inside thing that makes this snack interesting; remember that's important.
Homemade Popcorn.
This is my favorite. It's pure fiber and carbohydrate and it's GI isn't too high. It tastes great and it has the most interesting mouth feel (I'm telling you, that's important) of any snack. It's perfectly healthy if you don't add butter and it's not too bad if you use a healthier olive oil butter spread. It keeps great for a day or so and if you haven't eaten it by then (why would you not eat it by then?) throw it in a bowl with milk and sugar. Popcorn is the original cereal.
And if you make it yourself (don't buy those overpriced bags of microwave popcorn with carcinogenic imitation butter) it's practically free. It literally costs pennies per gallon if you pop it in a wok on your stove.

Almost free, tasty and healthy. What more could you want? Huh? You want more? 5 isn't enough for you? Fine, whatever. Here is a 6th:

Bonus: Diced Apple with Lime.
This is big in Mexico and it's a great way to make an apple a little tastier. Just dice it up real fine and squeeze a lime or lemon on top. The sour gives a great contrast to the earthy, sweet flavor of the apple. It also stops the apple from turning brown so you can dice it at home and throw it in a zip lock for work.

Snacking is an important part of your day but you have to snack smart. Look for things that have a low GI (fat and fiber) and always plan to snack. It's thinking that you won't eat anything between breakfast and lunch that leaves you standing in front of the candy machine at 10:30 in the morning, starting a cycle that's going to ruin your day.

- Garrett

Your Mid-Life Crisis: The Rules

2008-05-07T06:35:00.001-05:00

Written on 5/07/2008 by Lori Jewett, creator of the Between Us Girls blog.

Sooner or later we all go through it. We begin to lose parents, our friends or spouses start to come down with "old people" illnesses, our children grow up and (if we're lucky) begin to leave home. We look around at the landscape of our lives and realize it has become unrecognizable. What we once centered our lives around has changed, anchors that moored us have detached and, as the anxiety begins to mount, we find ourselves looking for something to hold on to. But what?

We understand, too well suddenly, that things change. We see our own mortality staring us right in the face; and we don't like it. So we ask ourselves, "Is this all there is?" "What am I to do now?" "Where do I go from here?" "How do I fit in all of those things that I want to do in the time I've got left?"

Recognize any of these feelings? Well fear not. While it's true that this can be a scary time, how we choose to answer the questions that confront us at mid-life can lead to introspection, great personal insight, and positive transformation, or, to us looking really, really silly. Here are some basic rules that will hopefully lead you to achieve the former and avoid the latter:

Mid-Life Crisis: The Rules

Don't panic. Just because the end seems suddenly near, don't feel that you have to totally change your life in an instant. The truth is, you still have plenty of time left. If you want to wisely make the most of that time, well-thought-out decisions are the way to go. You can't choose wisely when you're panicking.

Do take time to relax. Feelings of panic and time-pressure can easily push you into making faulty choices (think convertibles, fake tans, face-lifts and torrid affairs). This is the time to start meditating, learning yoga or taking an occasional walk in the woods to calm yourself and clear your mind.

Don't simply react to what you are feeling at the moment. While living in the present moment is normally a good thing to do at this point in your life, you don't really want to ignore all of the wisdom you have gained from past, as well as current, life experiences. Really, do you want to act rashly and make the same mistakes all over again?

Do take a look into the past. Take time to evaluate where you are and where you have been. Look back over your life. What were the highlights? What did you enjoy? What didn't you enjoy? What lessons have you learned? Based on this you can decide what you want more of in your life and what you might want less of.

Don't try to be someone you're not. You might feel like this is the time to let loose and really live, and it may be. But quitting your job and running away with some young lover may not be the best approach. If you value security and intellectual conversation, you're bound to be miserable. Anytime that your goals and life choices don't match up with your personal values, you're going to either fail, or be unhappy, or both.

Do focus on your values. We tend to think that this is a no-brainer, but it's not. Sometimes, we lose sight of what we really see as important. Sometimes, we try to value what others say is right and good. It's important to take time to think about what you as an individual hold dear. Do you really place a high value on family time and time spent doing volunteer work or do you do it because everyone else values it? Would you perhaps rather spend your time reading and painting and writing? Your choices need to be consistent with your values to make you happy.

Don't bury your fears of death or failure or loneliness. These are all valid emotions that need to be dealt with head on. Burying them leads to self-destructive behaviors, the last thing you want when you are trying to make the most of the time you have left.

Do ask yourself what you fear most. What is it about being this age and going through these changes that scares you the most? Are you afraid that you will die alone? Do you fear that you will never write the book you always wanted to write? Are you worried that bridges burned will never be repaired and you'll die with your (children, ex-wife, sister) hating you? Are you afraid that you'll never experience anything exciting and die of boredom? The answers to these questions can help you to determine what really is most important to you. They can help to give the remainder of your life focus and you a sense of purpose.

Now, are you still worried? Try not to be. We all ask ourselves these questions and go through this angst at some point in our lives. It's just a normal part of our growth and development. The key is to try to see this stage of life for what it actually is; a time of great opportunity. Recognizing that life is finite and facing you fear of mortality can motivate you to free yourself from the chains of the past and to propel yourself towards a more fulfilling future. Take this opportunity to begin your life's journey anew.

Best wishes!

- Lori

The Fast Track To Being A Winner Is By Becoming A Public Figure

2008-05-06T04:25:00.007-05:00

Written on 5/06/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the Practical Personal Development blog.

It was 1989 Europe - a five year old was playing war in the courtyard of his building with the neighborhood kids - and time was rough under the Socialist regime. There were no hard rules, no guidelines, and only the oppressors had plastic weapons. One thing was clear though, everyone wanted to be a winner.

Fast forward - 2008 USA, now 23 years old, our kid has grown up to a young adult. Some things have not changed; everyone still wants to be a winner. The stakes are higher in the adult world: big kids play war with real weapons, lives are on the line, and everything is a matter of consequence.

With everything being so gosh darn important we set about to create lofty goals. We realize that in order to achieve we must be a certain type of person to perform the actions necessary to succeed. The person we must be is a winner.

"If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner." ~Zig Ziglar

Type A (Winner) Personalities
Winner, we will define as, a type A, get-it-done, care about other people, type of personality. This is the type of person that everyone wants to be around, the type of person that everyone wants to be. Here are 10 traits that I would define as necessary to being a winner.

Exhibit Integrity
Do Not Speak Badly of Others
Stay Optimistic
Help Others When You Can
High Ambitions
Kind and compassionate
Believe in and respect yourself
Persist until you succeed
Open mindedness
Take responsibility

Fast Track To Being A Winner
You know you have some huge goals and you've been wanting to be a winner since you were 5 years old; you're just like me. You realize that there are 10 important traits to being a winner and many other traits that you would like to adopt as your very own in order to live a happier, more successful, more productive, and more rewarding life. Here's what you can do...

Act as if' you are a public figure! What does this mean? It means that you must understand that people are watching you at all times. Act as if it matters that people are watching you, and that you have a reputation to uphold, and you must act in such a manner so that people do not discover that you are anything different than what you appear to be.

This creates a sense of obligation in yourself to uphold the characteristics that you set out to identify yourself with. This way, no matter where you are, you are always thinking about how you are being a winner, and what kind of example you are setting for the people around you. Whether you are at work, happy hour, with your family, or at any public place -- be a winner.

Life is nothing but a series of habits, good or bad, that we have set up for ourselves. By being very consistent with being a winner and performing the actions of a winner, we are making 'winner' a habitual quality for ourselves. With time it won't be 'acting as if' and it will be 'going about your ways'.

"Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory." ~Arthur Ashe

-Alex

6 Ways to Attract Negative Vibes and Responses

2008-05-05T11:09:00.005-05:00

Written on 5/05/2008 by Shilpan Patel of Success Soul.

I'm ceaselessly amazed at people who attract negative vibes like they attract useless clutter yet they fail to understand their deadly juxtaposition. Negative vibes, either verbal or non-verbal, attract stress from others that attract negative vibes. It's a toxic cycle that never ends.

Needless to say, these people live lackluster lives at best. They accuse circumstances for their measly socio-economic condition. In reality, their body and language, both create circumstances leading to their poor state.

I am a hotelier and an astute student of human behavior. I have a habit of watching others, including my employees, as they interact with my customers. What follows is the list of behavior patterns one should avoid to get resounding "NO" from others.

Verbal Negative Vibes

Word wobbles: I once interviewed a gentleman for a sales director position. When I asked why he should get hired, he said, "I've gotta lots of experience and I'm gonna be the best salesman." When I offered him lunch, he said, "I already had a samwich." When I asked him if he knew the sales director of the nearest hotel, he said, "I dunno."

I never talked to him again. This person was not interested in increasing the position of the relationship, was wishy-washy, and wasn't well spoken. Be direct in your answers, speak clearly and with authority if you want to make an impression and get a positive response.

Double trouble: This one is lethal, it attracts twice as much negativity because it really shows your low intelligence level. I once heard one of my front desk clerks saying, "I don't got none," when customer asked for a non-smoking room. Hearing that grammatical nightmare was akin to being punched square in the stomach. He looks nice and he's a very capable man, yet he attracts negative vibes with his mutilated words and lack of basic grammar. He's now back at school learning basics of English.

Sexiest Stifles: I received a phone call once at midnight. The caller was a woman who was outraged with the front desk clerk. "I'm mad as hell because the agent who checked me in said, goodnight girl, please call me if you need anything, sweetie, " she sputtered. "First, I'm not a girl and second, what does he mean by "You need anything sweetie". I quickly apologized for the follies and offered her a free room for our stifles.

Being friendly and hospitable doesn't mean treating everyone like your best friend. Keep things professional despite the relationship you believe you have with someone.

Deadly "You" turns: Once a guest asked for the refund at the checkout. I was in the office eavesdropping on the conversation. "I couldn't sleep all night. I've heard noises all night from the room next door." "Why didn't you call us," the front desk clerk said in an attempt to avoid giving any refund. "I did but no one picked up the phone," he said. "You are wrong, I was here all night," said the front desk clerk to fluster the guest with intense negative vibes.

I intervened on this one and I apologized to the guest for the deadly "You" turns. Being accusatory is a sure path to no where.

Non-verbal Negative Vibes:
Non-verbal mistakes are even worse as they tend to exasperate others with anger and confusion. This happens from the body language that contradicts the message.

Facial follies: One of my employees asked to have a private meeting. "Is everything alright Kevin?" I asked by looking at his stern facial expression. "Well, that's the problem," he continued. "When I check people in, they ask the same question, 'Is everything OK?'." "What's your response, Kevin?” "Yes, I am OK. Why are you asking?" They'd say,” Because you look upset."

If you refuse to smile and you look miserable, you will be because you are bringing everyone around you down.

Body blusters: We engage in bodily gestures that attract negative vibes without vouching a single word. Has the person you are talking to ever pounded his/her fists on the table or crossed their arms in the middle of the conversation? If so, you've felt the negativity from that person without them even saying a word.

I once met with a salesman who wanted to sell room supplies. As I walked in the lobby, I saw him standing like "John Wayne" with his feet vary far apart and his hands on the hips. Without saying a word, this guy was being confrontational. Needless to say, I told him big "NO".

My take:
Human behavior can create havoc and destruction if we fail to recognize the sources that attract negative vibes. Try this test with a pocket full of dimes. When you attract a negative vibe, take a dime and put it on your desk. At the end of the day, count them. You'll both be amazed and terrified with the behavior that deprives you of the best life you can live now.

I'd love to learn more ways to attract negative vibes; do you have any to share?

-Shilpan

The 18 Most Valuable Parts to Success

2008-05-05T07:23:00.004-05:00

Written on 5/05/2008 by Nicholas Powiull, writer and owner of Conscious Flex.

There are only a few good definitions for the word success; there are however thousands of interpretations. In this article we'll assume that we can agree that success is achieved by accomplishing your goals or desires. Fair enough? Good.

Now that we agree on the definition, let's move on to the process; it's much tougher to grasp. The process for truly achieving success in work, home, or social settings contains several moving parts, all of which must be equally considered. This article will explain the most valuable parts of success. If you follow the recipe or guide in this article, you can achieve just about any goal you desire.

Doing Less Creates More
Most people believe that the harder you work, the more you gain. Yet the opposite is true. The people that figure out ways to get more done by exerting less power are the ones that truly get ahead - big time. These people were challenged, innovated, actively took action, and went against the grain of the majority. That is what made them successful, not the fact that the physically worked more. When you can learn to do less and gain more, you will find success.

Act Out The Things You Desire
Act as if you already have the things you desire. Doing this will allow you to be and see things from the perspective of the person (or position) you desire to be. Acting it out, leads you to it by taking the precise steps for getting there.
If you study a person who is successful and follow the way they do things, then you are learning what it takes to be successful. Acting out your desire is much like this tactic, except instead of studying the person; your studying what it feels like to be successful. Knowing that feeling will allow you to be in the state and do successful things based on that state of being.

Respect Your Expectations
If you expect that doing something will not provide you with what you need or desire, do not do it. If you expect that going to a job everyday for the rest of your life will not get you anywhere, do not do it. If you expect that living your passion would be the highest joy, do it. If you respect your expectations, you will be led to success.

Inspiration Fulfillment
Inspiration is an emotional charge that drives you to take action. More times than not, when the inspiration settles, people tend to stop taking action in the direction that inspiration lead them. In order to keep being inspired, you must keep the things that inspire you close. This will keep the communication with inspiration open. If it still fades (no matter the reason), keep taking action and you will fulfill your inspiration to achieve any success that you set out to do.

Direction of Abundance
Successful people always realize that there is enough of everything to go around. When you see that there is enough, you will have more than enough. When you feel, think, and believe that there is not enough, you will do everything within that mind-set. The "not enough' perspective is like a box that limits your ability to take action in the direction of abundance.

Keep Your Intelligence Up
Successful people always grow. Do a crossword, play chess, read a book that will help you grow, go out and meet more people, etc. Intelligence is not something people are born with, intelligence is created. Intelligence is created by having experiences and attaining knowledge. Albert Einstein was not born a genius, he was a genius because he stuck with the problem longer. When you stick with a problem until you find a answer, then you allow yourself all sorts of experience. Through each experience, you attain more knowledge about the problem and are one step closer to the solution.

Act On Desire
The moment you have a desire to achieve something, act on it. Desire is there for you to act on. Success can be defined as, acting on desire. If you obtain the desire to own a sports car, do something in that moment that will push your motivation levels higher. Even if you cannot afford the car, go talk to a dealer, or go test drive one; go do something that spins you closer towards it. When you walk in the direction of your goals, your goals will start walking towards you too.

Make a Win Win Situation
When you share something of value, people will naturally desire to share with you as well. Long-term success is only achieved, activated, and found through the process of giving value.

Tell Yourself Positive Things
The subconscious mind believes everything it is told without question, it does not have the ability to reason the difference and make decisions on logic. The subconsciousness makes decisions based on memory through the day and carries out things like habits. In other words, even if you do not consciously believe the positive things you tell yourself, your subconscious picks up on it. Eventually the subconsciousness will turn positive things into a belief, from the consciousness through habit. Have you ever lived in an area where people have a accent? If you stay there long enough and keep hearing the accent, you will automatically start speaking the same way based on the subconsciousness. Successful people are positive people and make a habit out of it.

Be a Leader
Don't follow the majority of the population. Success comes from going against the grain. The majority of people are not successful because they are followers. A leader is a person who is willing to test something new. A leader is someone who shares new beneficial ideas with others, so others can be leaders too.

Use Imagination
Through imagination, you open a window to more choices. If you feel that your stuck in a job because you have no choice, use imagination to allow yourself to see more opportunity. Imagine yourself being able to accomplish more. Successful people have a very active and powerful imagination. It is only through the imagination that one can find a solution. Success is not ever giving up on a problem, always finding a way, and choosing success no matter what. This is done through imagination.

Be Flexible
Being fixed, set, un-open, and inflexible limits opportunity. Limiting opportunity, limits experiences. Limiting experiences, limits success. Success comes from having enough experiences and failing enough times to know how to success.

See Opportunity Everywhere
See opportunity in everything you do. Even in the worst of negative situations, there is an opportunity to grow and learn something. When you start seeing opportunity everywhere, you start seeing more. Seeing more choices, more ideas, more experiences, seeing more ways to succeed.

Express Ideas
Ideas enter your mind and leave your mind just as fast. The mind can only retain a limited amount of information. Therefore, when you get an idea, write it down immediately (always have a small notebook and pen) or carry a voice recorder and write it down later (this is probably the best device). When you express your ideas, you leave room for more.

Optimize Your Success
You can optimize your success by not putting things off for later. When reading your email, respond to the ones that need responding. If you do not have time to respond, do not check your email. Whatever it is, while it is there, take care of it or do not allow it to be there. The mind quickly picks up on habits, both positive and negative. When you respond in the moment, you can replace the old habit of putting it off.

Stay Out of Perfection
Perfecting everything slows down success. Stop organizing and perfecting everything, just allow things to flow their course. If you must correct, organize, and perfect; allow the natural successful flow first. Get things out first, then optimize.

Do the Big & Important First
To keep from procrastinating, get the big things out of the way first. Doing the most important things first, will gain you the most benefit. Optimizing success is about not letting the little things distract you. Move all the little things out of the way, for the purpose of getting the big things done. For example, if writing an article is the most beneficial, first research what you need to write the article, then hide the short cut icons that lead to the internet (to stay focused).

Do Successful By Being Successful
Being successful is not a one-time thing, you must continue to be successful everyday to see results. Therefore, do at least two things everyday that move you in the direction of your desire.

-Nicholas

The Friday Finale - Overconsumption Junction

2008-05-02T07:01:00.004-05:00

A crazy week and a crazy Friday schedule leads to this early edition of the second Friday Finale on Dumb Little Man.

Coasting, perhaps crawling, into the weekend I noticed something very telling. As I collected the garbage receptacles from my curb (local garbage collection was yesterday), I realized that I totally over consume. Why is it that I have 2 huge garbage containers and all of my neighbors only need one?

Hmm. I have no more kids than the other families (2) and I have no more parties than most. Where is all the garbage coming from?

Simple. Despite claims that I am a frugal fool, I am purchasing this garbage. Clear as day, my garbage is an indicator and reminder of my poor purchasing decisions, missed opportunities to save money, missed opportunities to teach my kids that more is not more.

As you get out this weekend and you hear the Siren song of Target, Gamestop, or Costco, ask yourself: Can I do without this purchase? Can I make it another week without making THIS purchase. I gaurantee you will be shocked at how many items you place back on the shelf.

With that, here are the goods for the Friday Finale:

Found from Around the Web:

Mind's Limit Found: 4 Things at Once - Is this why I constantly forget to pick up my dry cleaning?

The Five Ps: Breaking Down Big Dreams Into Little Steps - Good article that will get you fired up and thinking about pursuing your passion.

21 Ways to Shoot Better Photographs - Yes, just as the title says.

Common Cooking Mistakes to Avoid - 7 ways you can mess up in the kitchen

20 Things You Can Use Twice Before Tossing - From business cards to pantyhose

23 Ways to Delegate to Others - Overworked, over to-doed? Delegate. This is a science that will make your life SO much simpler.

Don't be this person, Learn to Listen.

At this time last year on DLM:

Productivity Ninja: 101 Ways to Rock the Keyboard - An all time favorite for me.

Have a great weekend everyone and yes, I will remind you again. Do something different this weekend, get outside and take a walk, find a new trail to bike, etc. If you need a reason, consider that May 3rd is shut down day!

-Jay

Open your Eyes to Blind Giving

2008-05-01T05:09:00.004-05:00

Written on 5/01/2008 by Jodie Clements, of Yadaspeak.com.

Ever pondered the question of Karma?

Ever wondered what your greater purpose on this earth is?

Ever questioned what can YOU do to make a difference, in order to affect someone else's life positively?

We all have. At one time or another in our lives, we have all contemplated these questions. Most of us however, just move past them, or get distracted by the dramas of our own lives until the next time we think about them - and then forget them all over again.

The thing is, you don't need to give big to have a huge effect.

Here's a list of 5 small things that you can do to positively affect the lives of the people that surround you daily, but whom you may not ordinarily notice.

Take time to say good morning to elderly people. People in their golden years are often alone and craving human contact. The two seconds it takes to say good morning and smile can change their entire day.

Talk to your cleaning lady. Your cleaning lady is a person. Take a moment to ask her how she is and listen when she answers. Tell her you think she's doing a wonderful job and that you really appreciate her. She'll be the most loyal cleaning lady you have ever had.

Buy a homeless person a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Nothing more to add here. Even if they are sleeping, just leave it next to them. It will warm their heart, if not their belly.

Tell an older woman she is beautiful. For many women, getting older means feeling that you are 'losing your looks'. This can be extremely distressing. Telling an older woman she looks stunningly beautiful can make her whole year. Do it and watch her smile.

Make friends with someone less fortunate than you. This can be via volunteering or just simply spending time with someone you already know. The dividends on this kind of giving are infinite and you truly will make a difference.

Remember, the smallest things can have the biggest impact on the lives of others.

Be kind. Don't be blind. Give.

- Jodie

Realizing Success Through Empowerment

2008-04-30T08:51:00.004-05:00

Written on 4/30/2008 by David B. Bohl, the author of Slow Down Fast.

So many times when things go badly in our lives we find ourselves wondering how we ended up in such a bad situation, or who is to blame. These are self-defeating mindsets that limit our ability to recover, or to succeed.

Instead of developing a defeatist attitude when something goes awry, try to adjust to a mindset that allows you to empower yourself. Empowerment, in turn, leads to greater success. It allows you to learn from your mistakes, be thankful for your accomplishments, and move on.

The next time you find yourself in a mess and wondering how or why you got there, try looking at some of the more positive aspects of your particular situation.

Realize What You Have Learned: They say every dark cloud has a silver lining and part of becoming empowered means learning to find the good in every situation. Ask yourself what you have learned from your individual situation which in turn will prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future.

Ask yourself how you allowed the situation to unfold the way it did. Examine all angles to determine how you might have contributed to the outcome.

Also take a look at the positive aspects of what has happened. In some ways you may have benefited from what otherwise appears to be a bad situation. You may have gained invaluable knowledge or experience, found an inner strength you did not know you had, or forged new relationships in the process. Always take the time to look for the good in everything you do.

Determine Where You Want to Go: Ask yourself what your goals are. Where do you want to be? What do you want to achieve? Before you can take action, you must know where you want to go. Decide on both long and short term goals, and develop a plan for reaching them.

In your planning, decide which things are worthy of your attention, and which things are only detractors from you reaching your goals. This allows you to focus on those positive behaviors or actions that bring you closer to success, and allow you to filter out those things that slow you down or prevent you from achieving your goals.

Also determine what you need to change in order to succeed. You may need to develop new habits, form new relationships, or let go of destructive relationships. In addition to deciding upon the changes you need to make, you need to ask yourself if you are ready to change. You may have an overriding goal in mind, but you may not yet be mentally ready to achieve that goal. Examine your feelings to determine if you have any insecurities or fears relating to your success that may be hindering you.

Give Something Back: Take a moment to take stock of the successes you have had so far, then consciously be grateful for them. This will lighten your spirit and give you strength and motivation. By realizing we have things in our lives that are worthy of thanks, it helps keep us from becoming mired down in self pity. Be thankful and be happy for the gifts you have.

Next, ask what you can give to others. Even if it does not directly correlate to your goal, the act of giving is greatly empowering. Whether you offer a helping hand to someone in need, offer guidance to someone in the office, help an overburdened colleague with an assignment, donate to the needy, or befriend someone who is feeling lonely, the act of giving has its own rewards that will lift your spirits and renew your energy.

By taking definite actions that foster a positive mindset, you can overcome adversities that stand between you and your goals. It is far too easy to become discouraged by setbacks and become a victim of fate rather than an active participant in your life. When circumstances deal you a blow, do not sit back and ask, “Why me?” Instead, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What next?” A slight shift in attitude can keep your motivation and spirits high, and lead you down that road to success.

-David

Save Cash and Earth: Start a Garden

2008-04-30T07:03:00.005-05:00

Written on 4/30/2008 by Shelly DeVous.

Listen to Al Gore and you believe our earth in is a perilous position and we all must work to reduce our carbon footprint. But is there anything one person can do to really have an effect on climate conditions?

Michael Pollen’s recent New York Times article asks, “Why bother?” Pollen doesn’t just pose the question, he also provides an answer; plant a garden:

“The idea is to find one thing to do in your life that doesn’t involve spending or voting, that may or may not virally rock the world but is real and particular (as well as symbolic) and that, come what may, will offer its own rewards.”

It’s an admirable suggestion and a timely one, but his answer assumes two prerequisites:

A commitment to ecology
An ability to garden

Gardening does not require a commitment to ecology. However, when viewed as an answer to declining climate conditions, a heightened commitment to saving the earth may provide the necessary motivation to fulfill the second requirement; how to garden.

Pollen suggests gardening fulfills both prerequisites:

“But there are sweeter reasons to plant that garden, to bother. At least in this one corner of your yard and life, you will have begun to heal the split between what you think and what you do, to commingle your identities as consumer and producer and citizen.”

We don’t have to march in “Save The Earth” rallies, or install sun panels on our roof to show we are committed to the environment. Gardening will coalesce our own thoughts and actions; what we believe and what we do will be in harmony.

Pollen suggests other benefits as well:

Grow the proverbial “free lunch.” (Cheap food)
CO2-free endeavor
Great exercise
Engages mind and body
Reason to be outdoors, away from the computer (as soon as you finish reading this)
Reengage with neighbors (if only to borrow tools!)

Reap fresh air and sunlight, exercise my mind and body, save the earth and have free food? OK, I’m a gardener. Now what?

Gardening is a worthy pursuit, but to progress from seedling to harvest requires knowledge. If you have never grown a vegetable garden, you will have to learn how.

My father-in-law, an avid and prolific gardener, always advised planting vegetables on Mother’s Day. By the first week of May, serious concern of frost has passed, the earth is warm, daylight growing, and nights still relatively cool; Mother’s Day is the ideal time to begin planting.

Mother’s Day is fast approaching. Now is the time to seriously consider Pollen’s suggestion. Are you ready to start planting and do your part to save the earth?

Vegetable gardening is not difficult, but it does require knowledge. Planning will increase the rewards of harvest. The internet provides a wealth of information on vegetable gardening. Begin with these:

Gardening 101: Plan Today for Summer Success
Ehow tutorial: How to grow tomatoes
Backyard gardener.com: How to grow vegetables
How stuff works: How to grow vegetables

Vegetable gardening is its own reward, if nothing more than you gain the satisfaction of growing your own food. Pollen offers one more reason to pursue this worthwhile effort and this may be the best reason:

“The single greatest lesson the garden teaches is that our relationship to the planet need not be zero-sum, and that as long as the sun still shines and people still can plan and plant, think and do, we can, if we bother to try, find ways to provide for ourselves without diminishing the world.”

That’s a good reason to bother.

-Michele