One More Thing [Hey Now!]

Hallmark invented a holiday, which means I have to take off early today (But I will be drunkenly seeking refuge here from my Mom's computer room after a few minutes of family time) so I leave you with something I dearly love. From The Larry Sanders Show: "The Egging."

The Greatest Simpsons Celebrity Cameos [D'oh!]

Entertainment Weekly is ranking the best guest stars to appear on The Simpsons. How the hell did they miss Ron Howard and Mel Gibson? And Mr. Burns' whole ringer baseball team? See who else they snubbed here.

Kids' Drawings Made Real [Gallery]

Someone's taking children's scribbling and gussying them up with some kind of magical computure special effects. It think it's pretty nifty. However, I'm having tech woes and can't seem to publish more than one image in a post, so enjoy the gallery here. Stupid tech trouble.

O.J.'s Confession [True Crime]

Mike Gilbert, O.J. Simpson's former manager, has a tell-all coming out. According to an AP reporter who got an advance copy of the book, "He said Simpson had smoked pot, took a sleeping pill and was drinking beer when he confided at his Brentwood home weeks after his trial what happened the night of June 12, 1994. Simpson said he went to his ex- wife's condominium, but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him Nicole Brown Simpson had one in her hand when she opened the door."

"In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: 'If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive.'

"'Nothing more needed to be said,' Gilbert writes. 'O.J. had confessed to me. There's no doubt in my mind.'" [AP]

Awww 'NYT' Headline Writers Think They Work Here [Adorbs!]

What does it say about a story when an editor at The New York Times resorts to snark? Is this part of that whole Times loosening up thing? Is it a way to soften the blow of a really wordy article on a topic that no one seems to know anything about? Take this, for instance.

"In recent weeks, some analysts have started to talk about prices rising to $200 a barrel. But not everyone is so glum. Some experts say that today’s prices have resulted from a speculative bubble that is increasingly disconnected from reality. Energy economists at Lehman Brothers argue, for instance, that oil prices are just as likely to fall to $80 a barrel as they are to rise to $200 a barrel." [NYT]

Happy Mother's Day! [Listicles]

From dirty pillows to wire hangers, Rotten Tomatoes is rating the worst moms in movie history, complete with video goodness. Oh, they list the best moms too, but so what? My personal choice after the jump.

How Web 3.0 Will Work [The Future Is Meh]

I still don't understand what Web 2.0 is, but the next version is coming and I fear it. I don't want my MacBook getting inside my head—hell, even I don't want to be in there! "[T]he Web 3.0 browser will act like a personal assistant. As you search the Web, the browser learns what you are interested in. The more you use the Web, the more your browser learns about you and the less specific you'll need to be with your questions. Eventually you might be able to ask your browser open questions like 'where should I go for lunch?' Your browser would consult its records of what you like and dislike, take into account your current location and then suggest a list of restaurants."

"Some Internet experts believe the next generation of the Web — Web 3.0 — will make tasks like your search for movies and food faster and easier. Instead of multiple searches, you might type a complex sentence or two in your Web 3.0 browser, and the Web will do the rest. In our example, you could type "I want to see a funny movie and then eat at a good Mexican restaurant. What are my options?" The Web 3.0 browser will analyze your response, search the Internet for all possible answers, and then organize the results for you." [HowStuffWorks]

Brits Still Obsessed With Heather Mills [Get Over It]

Once upon a time Heather Mills had the audacity to marry Paul McCartney and a funny island nation got really, really upset about it. So upset that they're still coming up with stuff like this: "Heather Mills has been accused of breaking a promise to a disabled mother whose artificial legs she promised to pay for. The 40-year-old ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney — who herself has an artificial after she was hit by a car in 1993 — met Maria Rybkina, who was left tragically disabled in a train accident, in her Moscow flat four years ago. Heather promised 28-year-old Maria a personal donation of $20,000 to provide her with new artificial legs, but it has now been claimed that the former glamor model never handed over the cash, despite repeated promises to do so."

"Mariah is now able to walk again after she received the help of British couple Robin and Inna Barratt, who launched a fund-raising campaign on her behalf. 'Heather rang us and emailed us repeatedly with promises to pay for Maria’s legs,' Robin tells Britain’s News of The World newspaper. 'But every single promise she made fell flat. In the end, she never did anything at all [...] all her big promises came to nothing. It was shocking behavior.'” [ShowbizSpy]

More on the Furious Scrubs Debate [Haters]

Man, people are just hating on my fun little hospital comedy! "[J]udging by the season just completed, 'Scrubs' may have been best left out to pasture: Here is a show perpetually pleased with itself and running dry on innovations. J.D. (Zach Braff) and Elliot (Sarah Chalke) continued their non-consummation. Turk (Donald Faison) and Carla (Judy Reyes) continued their hungry sexuality. A baby failed to truly mellow Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley), and a girlfriend failed to sandpaper the rough edges off the Janitor (Neil Flynn).

"As for last week's season finale, well, that was strange, no? Originally scheduled to air earlier in the season, which accounts for the heavy presence of Dr. Kelso (Ken Jenkins), who a couple of weeks ago told Sacred Heart Hospital they could take his job and shove it, it centered on a fairy tale told by Dr. Cox to his young son as a bedtime story. As a narrative innovation, it ranked nowhere near the "Scrubs" musical episode (a hackneyed trick, but a good one) — essentially, it was a regular episode of the show, with the addition of numerous hours of costume and makeup. Not clever, just cute.

"Once, 'Scrubs' felt fantastical even without gimmickry. The humor was quick, and the characters had texture, Braff delivered genuine pathos beneath his simpering exterior, and Faison has been among the most guileless comedic actors on television.

"This season, though, their relationship became rote, and even they knew it. In several episodes, they openly struggled against the very nature of their freewheeling bond, especially since they're both young fathers — maturity may be out of reach for them, but thinking about it isn't. (Plus, the race-baiting jokes are becoming a bit much — y'all no longer get a pass just because Turk is black.)

"Braff's continued work on the show is reminiscent of Ashton Kutcher's labors on late-period 'That '70s Show.' In the acting, to be sure — both boiled their characters down to a few key tics, easy to deliver on cue — but also in the relatively quiet accumulation of wealth while they elsewhere aim for holier artistic pastures. "Garden State" was a moment, but the "Scrubs" checks will never die — it's a pretty good hustle." [LAT]

Jerk.

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