The View Makes John McCain, Everyone Else Really Nervous [Election]

John McCain went on lady show The View yesterday, and co-host Whoopi Goldberg suggested he call himself "Jack Mack" to appeal to the youth, which means anyone under 80 as far as the elderly Republic presidential candidate is concerned. In another reminder that he is an angry old man, McCain was scolded for not hugging all the hosts like Barack Obama. He then made an extended joke about being twitchy and nervous, which made everyone watching a little twitchy and nervous on his behalf. Later, he said some political things, but the best part was the hugging and twitching, so it's after the jump.

Jessica Alba Redeems Herself For At Least A Few Days [Gossip Roundup]

• Actress Jessica Alba did something nice for a sick girl, and if you focus on the pictures and edit out the exclamation points in the copy, the story is kind of sweet. (That's just... I got something in my eye, is all. Shut up.) [Star]
• The latest rumored comeback strategy for Britney Spears is a reality show supposedly being pitched to several major networks by her once and current manager Larry Rudolph. Past rumors focused on a concert tour, t-shirt line and something involving Danish furniture. This one has the advantage of working even if the singer loses her shit again. [Oh No They Didn't]
• Apparently Spears is an insult to the artistic integrity of Doogie Howser. Neil Patrick Harris of How I Met Your Mother, formerly of Doogie, dissed Spears, who recently did a cameo: "I'm in the minority that feels our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed... I worry that if they start Will and Grace-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. We're all really proud of the content of the show." [OK!]
• George Clooney's girlfriend is not only stashing her clothes at his place, but also took the bold step of installing scented candles and fresh flowers. The actor is out of town promoting his movie, and the girlfriend, Sarah Larson, is just kind of crashing. And, you know, suffocating him. [OK!]
• Nelson Mandela confirmed rapper Eminem for his 90th birthday party. [Sun]
• Vanilla Ice was arrested on a domestic battery charge. According to TMZ, the rapper, real name Robert Van Winkle, pushed his wife during an argument. He's in jail pending a trial Friday morning.

Couric's Exit Was "Idle Talk" Says Times Source [Katie Couric]

All the news about Katie Couric maybe leaving her anchor job at the CBS Evening News grew out of "idle talk and musings" about her departure, one CBS source told the Times. Where did this supposed "idle talk" take place? In CBS Chairman Les Moonves' office, with Moonves, Couric, her agent and the president of CBS News all present. Funny, if I had a $15 million-per-year job I wanted to keep, I don't think I'd openly talk about leaving three years early in front of my boss and my boss' boss. Regardless, it now looks like Couric will, in fact, exit her contract before its 2011 expiration.

No decision about Couric's future emerged from the Feb. 28 meeting. But when the substance of the talks was leaked to the Wall Street Journal and Washington Post, Couric became dejected and now might leave within "the next few weeks," according to the Times' sources.

It is not clear whether the leak was a malicious move on the part of someone inside CBS to nudge Couric out the door, but similar gossip has sometimes been deployed in TV news to usher out unwanted personalities (see, for one example, David Hartman here). According to the Times, CBS executives are "adamant" Couric will stay at least through the election.

The Times story ended with a "close associate" saying it is doubtful Couric will complete her contract.

[Times]

Alec Baldwin Celebrating 30 Rock Premiere In Style [Gawker Stalker]

Emailed stalker sighting: "Tonight I spotted Alec Baldwin around 7:30pm at the French Roast Cafe on 11th Street West and 6th Avenue. He was was drunk and standing at the bar with a woman and a man. He had his arm around the woman a few times, and seemed to be falling all over her. Alec seemed to be meeting the couple there, because they all left together shortly after he arrived."

Springsteen's Drummer Is Such A Capitalist [The Rich]

In their songs, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are all about blue-collar workers struggling against plutocrats who want to export their jobs and poison their water. It turns out E Street drummer Max Weinberg stands accused of being a profiteer himself for his plans to develop 22 acres of central New Jersey woods into a housing development, potentially increasing the value of his land by more than $7 million. Some preservationists are upset, and the Newark Star-Ledger called Weinerg "a symbol of hypocrisy:"

Neighbors criticized the plan for threatening one of the largest undeveloped spaces remaining in the area. Local planning authorities expressed similar concerns — but said they had little choice but to approve it since Mr. Weinberg had done his research, and the subdivision plan was done by the book.

"I really feel this is not best for the area," the Middletown Township Planning Board's chairwoman, Judith Stanley Coleman, said at the time of the vote, according to the Asbury Park Press, a local newspaper. "But we have laws in front of us that we have to take into consideration, and that is what we have to abide by."

I figured all rockers eventually sell out like this when I saw Bob Dylan's Cadillac Escalade commercial.

[WSJ]

Why Paramount's New "Dollar Per Clip" Business Will Fail (Hint: YouTube) [YouTube]

Paramount plans to sell old movie clips for a buck each, says the Post. "Hollywood's answer to the ringtone" is available on Facebook and a virtual world called "there" (no, seriously) but Paramount plans to offer the clips as "video ringtones." That's a stupid idea as I'll explain below, but first let's go down the list of films Paramount is selling clips from, by showing clips already available on YouTube.

So much for the computer market; now for phones.

Am I the only person in the world who keeps his phone in his pocket and doesn't stare at it while it rings? Or is everyone going to start not picking up the phone because they want to watch ten seconds of Top Gun instead? I'm guessing video ringtones will never take off like actual ringtones, but I just don't understand why anyone important at Paramount thinks they will.

That Says A Bit More About Her Than About Blogging [Dooce]

Dooce author Heather Armstrong "says she has sought therapy to cope with vitriolic posts," writes the Journal. Before anyone uses that to validate the "blogging kills" meme, remember that the famous mommy-blogger had already been in a mental hospital. So it's hard to take this line seriously: "She adds she can understand why 'famous people turn to drugs or commit suicide.'" [Wall Street Journal]

Bob Greene Dead At 78 [And Now He's Dead]

"Robert W. Greene, a pioneering investigative reporter and editor who helped Newsday twice win the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service and who left an indelible imprint on a newspaper whose reporting mission he deeply believed in, died Thursday after a long illness. He was 78." [Newsday, Romenesko]

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