More Prison Time For Epstein? [Billionaire Pervs]

"Three young women suing billionaire Jeffrey Epstein for sex abuse at his Palm Beach mansion want a federal judge to quash the plea deal he made with the state of Florida to serve 18 months in jail in exchange for admitting he solicited a 14-year-old hooker." [Post, Previously]

As Intern, Kurt Cobain's Daughter Considered A Bit Too Punk Rock [Children Of]

Did you know Frances Bean Cobain, Kurt's surprisingly well-adjusted daughter, is a "summer aide" at Rolling Stone? She is! Also, she's wayyy too rock and roll for the anal-retentive offices of the Wenner title. Insiders bitched to Page Six, "she doesn't get coffee for anyone . . . calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits." First of all? She's 15. And second? Something tells me Evan Springsteen, Max Spielberg and Gus Wenner weren't fetching too many lattes last summer, either. Anyway, here are some conversation tips, courtesy a February article in People, in case she comes to collect your drink order:

• She is not her parents: "I get it, I really do, but at the same time it's creepy."
• She is not her parents: "If you're a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why you would want to get to know me, but I'm not my parents."
• Career interests: "She's thought about photography and/or journalism."
• Also: She is not her parents! "People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

So, basically, a fairly typical 15-year-old, except she already has Rolling Stone on her resume, and has already been savaged in Page Six. But given that her mom is Courtney Love? Something tells me she's not sweating it.

[Page Six, People]

Doctor Quits Practice To Blog About Apple [Wtf]

This morning's Times brings the story of Arnold Kim, the blogger behind MacRumors.com. Kim just quit his job as a freshly-minted physician to blog full time. Wait, what? Well, see, MacRumors has been estimated to be worth $85 million — more valuable than the Huffington Post. So, for Kim, going full-time was "on paper... an easy decision." Also he has a 14-month-old daughter (awww) who he'd like to spend more time with. Even his dad approves! "When he told his father, also a doctor, about the decision, Dr. Kim was pleased that 'he was very supportive of it, which was sort of surprising to me,'" the Times said. Only an hour after publication, the Times story has already reached number two on the Technology section most-emailed list — no doubt thanks to platoons of vindicated bloggers forwarding the piece to their parents. I think I'll join them! [Times] (Photo via blakespot on Flickr)

Ron Paul Doesn't Look So "Crazy" Now, Does He, New Yorkers? [Apocalypse]

Look, it's Ron Paul! But what is he doing in New York, the fancy magazine for elites, alongside establishment finance types like a former Morgan Stanley economist and a famous investor? Isn't he sort of "kooky?" Everyone (who didn't live in a basement or wasn't a furry) laughed at Paul's quest for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination, especially since Paul wanted to get rid of the Federal Reserve and take America back to the gold standard, in which money is backed by something other than the worthless promises of filthy bankers and shiftless bureaucrats. But now it looks like the Fed's board of governors may be leading us into depression, and even that capitalist bible the Wall Street Journal ran an article this weekend speculating that the thinking behind the gold standard, if not the standard itself, "will have its day again." So Paul's stock is rising! Let's hear what terrible things he has to say about our future:

“I think we are maybe 10 percent into this crisis. The economic distortions have been building for longer than we’ve seen in the history of the world. Never have we had such confidence falsely placed in a reserve currency.”

Ha ha, you know what's funny about that Ron Paul quote? It's probably the least disturbing one in the entire New York charticle. The people from inside the financial system sound far more depressing. Here's the former Morgan Stanley chief economist:

“The American consumer is toast. We’re talking a multiyear adjustment, at least two or three years, maybe more. Does that mean America is over? Does that mean we have a whole new world order? The jury’s out on that

If you really want to ruin your Monday, go ahead and click through and read the other two quotes. The short version is that you'll soon be starving in the street, but in the meantime don't stop reading, because there's this new tapas place New York would like to tell you about!

[New York]

Harold Evans Wants Times Redesign [Journalismism]

Pioneering Sunday Times editor, husband to Tina Brown: "Should The New York Times be redesigned? Absolutely... If your wife or husband is already reading the C section and you have a jump... from the first section... it's impossible." [Independent]

New MSNBC Chief Insults Fox News [Feuds]

Phil Griffin was only promoted to president of MSNBC last week, but he's already escalated the cable news network's feud with competitor Fox News Channel. That probably shouldn't be surprising given that Griffin is the chief patron of Keith Olbermann, the antagonist most detested by Fox. But Griffin's swipes at his competitor in the Kansas City Star are still startlingly raw: "You can't trust a word they say," Griffin said of Fox News. "THEY made the business decision to create an ideological network. We didn't. They were the ones that got in bed with the Bush Administration, so that most of the time, where did the Bush Administration officials come out and make their points? Fox News." Well, OK then! But isn't MSNBC adding a lot of left-wing opinion to its own newscasts, via Olbermann and others? Totally different, said Griffin:

They saw an opportunity years ago to create an ideological channel. And they did. I give them total credit. I tip my hat to them. They scored. But it was ideological and opportunistic. It was a business plan.

"We didn't do that. We go out and hire the best people that we can and give them freedom. Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann were arguing in point-of-view programs against the war when the war was popular. This wasn't a business decision. .... We're not tied to ideology the way they are. We're still NBC News, best newsgathering organization in the world, we have a couple of point-of-view people, but we have a variety of opinions you don't see elsewhere.

"But we're more fun. We're more interesting. We're smarter. We don't talk down to the audience...

I don't care if Obama wins or McCain wins, because I know we're in such a strong position we're going to continue to have success with whatever administration goes in there in 2009. I think they care."

So, in summary, MSNBC is different from Fox News because, while it has opinionated shows, there is no one opinion that pervades the network. Also, MSNBC is smarter and more fun, and also way hotter in a bikini, and more popular with the cool kids. Also, more mature. Better dresser.

But what's this about Fox deploying opinion as part of a "business plan?" So MSNBC is the one cable news network that acts independent of the ratings? The fact that Olbermann's "special comments" spiked viewership had nothing to do with that they got more frequent, and longer? Right.

In any case, something tells me a certain person is going to start appearing in Page Six a lot more often. And MSNBC may get a lot more interesting!

[Kansas City Star]

Free Porn Is Media Giants' Online "Game Changer" [The Internet]

When NBC Universal jumped into bed with Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. to launch YouTube-competitor Hulu, you just knew things were going to get tawdry. Murdoch, after all, has shrewdly and repeatedly exploited the draw of sexual content, at UK newspaper The Sun (with its page three girls), on TV network Fox and elsewhere. And so perhaps it should have been clear from the get-go what Murdoch's number two Peter Chernin was wrong when he declared that Hulu was going to be "a game changer for Internet video... for the first time, consumers will get what they want." Actually, Hulu is bootstrapping itself the same way the entire rest of the internet did: via porn!

As Silicon Alley Insider discovered, some 14 of the site's top 20 most popular movie clips are basically soft-core porn (well, maybe not that Reno 911! clip). The reigning champ? That would the scene "Topless Pillow Fight" from legendary party flick Animal House. There's a (obviously NSFW) clip below, but be prepared to sit through a couple of ads, because that's how NBC and Fox make their money. REVOLUTIONARY!

[Silicon Alley Insider]

Obama's Cartoon Retribution [Working 'with' The Press]

Obama-Osama Bloopers: Does Anyone Care Anymore? [Videuhoh]

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Remember when it was sort of a big deal for people to mix up Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and noted terrorist Osama bin Laden? Late last year, it was major news when CNN confused them in two different segments — the network apologized in print, on air and personally via telephone. When Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney did the same, a Huffington Post blogger wrote, in commentary typical of the moment, that "the fear of terrorism makes the Obama-Osama name mix-up anything but off-color camp." The news media has had seven months to clean up its act, but hardly seems to have learned a thing. The cable news networks tallied three Osama-Obama slip-ups in the past week alone, TVNewser noted, including a third-time offense from MSNBC's Chris Matthews. After the most recent, by Dan Rather on MSNBC Friday morning, none of the four people on camera even bothered to correct the gaffe, even though Rather actually went whole-hog and called Obama "Osama bin Laden." Where's the outrage?

Buried under all the honest mistakes. Obama-Osama mix-ups have become so commonplace that viewers are willing to cut TV personalities some slack. Even Chris Matthews, who gets physically aroused by Obama, is calling him Osama, so it seems plausible that these really are just bloopers rather than calculated swipes, as some critics once hypothesized.

Also, Obama, once the presumed underdog against Democratic rival Hillary Clinton, won the nomination and is leading his Republican rival in the polls. He is in a position of strength, so it will take more to get people outraged on his behalf.

That still doesn't excuse tongue-tied TV news anchors. If they haven't been able to get Obama's name right by now, one can only conclude there will be at least one serious gaffe during the Democratic convention. And, if Obama wins election, still more during White House press conferences. In which case, the abject humiliation alone will be enough to stop these slip-ups cold. Awkward!

[Crooks and Liars, TVNewser]

One More Thing: Greatest Non-Humans in Movies and TV [Nostalgia]

Film and television are not just mediums where mere human beings get to show off! They're also for the animals and aliens and all sorts of strange beings who make our lives that much more livable. So who are your favorite furry, or slimy, or scaly, or just plain not-human stars of the big and little screens? Share! My selection—I'm still in a monkey sort of mood—after the jump.

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