Tom Wolfe's "Idiots" [Tom Wolfe *journalismism!!QUOTEDTAGSTR::1!!]

"I would just point out, all news today comes from newspapers... Television has never initiated a successful story in its life." [Post]

Four Awful Tips For Women From Esquire Editor [Wtf]

Esquire's David Granger, you'll recall, secured a lone nomination in the National Magazine Awards this year thanks, reportedly, to lobbying by fellow Hearst editor Rosemary Ellis, of Good Housekeeping. No surprise, then, that Granger was all-too-happy to do a solid for another Hearst title, O, The Oprah Magazine, when editors there asked him to answer the question "Men! What Do You Like Most About Us [women]?" Granger's exuberant response (last item) is clearly intended to flatter O's middle-aged lady readers, which is fine, since that's half the point of these things. But the answers are so obviously terrible one almost wonders if it was written as parody. Did Granger hand this one off to a junior assistant or something? The four worst tips:

• "We love the way you smell right after you finish exercising." Mmmm, chilled gym sweat. It should really be bottled.
• "We love it when you argue with us about something — movies, sports, politics — that really doesn't matter." Pointless arguing — it's not just for sexless marriages any more!
• "We love the way you look when you're half-dressed or half-undressed." You can be half naked if you like. Or maybe you prefer half naked. Either way, David Granger is thrilled. And they say men are picky about how their partners look!
• "We love your certainty, even when you're sure we're wrong." Stubborn is especially sexy if you're also argumentative. And sweaty. And refusing to get more than half-naked.

Remember O readers: There's nothing "We" won't say we love about you, especially when "you" are anonymous readers and "we" are thousands of miles away and don't actually have to deal with any of the behaviors we claim are charming. Don't feel slighted — I'm sure the same sort of columns run in men's magazines all the time. Like, say, Esquire!

[WWD (last item)]

Hooker Hotel Brings Together Obama, Clinton [Publicity Stunts]

Oh, hey, bitter Hillary Clinton supporters! The Barack Obama presidential campaign knows many of you are threatening to vote for Republican presidential candidate John McCain because supporting Obama would feel like swallowing insults to feminism and, I guess, the "popular vote" in the sham Florida and Michigan elections or whatever. To help you get over these irrational fears you are selling out, a triumphant Obama and a heavily-indebted Clinton would like to meet you personally, in Washington, at a hotel famous for bringing together powerful male politicians and desperate female whores. Bring your checkbook! Leave your uncomfortable analogies at home, please, kthxbai. [Daily News]

Watering Down Michelle Obama [Feminism]

Well, you can't say the National Organization for Women didn't warn you: Barack Obama might be leading a campaign for change but, judging from a story in this morning's Times, Michelle Obama will be forced to bend to established patriarchy just as would-be-first-lady Hillary Clinton did 16 years ago. The Times writes about how Obama, a Harvard-trained lawyer, is known for bridging racial divides with bold, frank talk. "Her style is still to say: 'Hey! I'm going to tell you where I stand, and you figure out where you stand,'" said a former illegal immigrant who started a Chicago school with Obama's help. But American is scared of smart, mouthy ladies, so the Obama campaign is giving Michelle a makeover to make her far less interesting:

The repositioning will "emphasize her modest background" and "humble roots" and send Obama on talk show The View in hopes of "softening her reputation." She'll also meet with the wives of soldiers, since that probably won't be controversial, and will remind everyone she is not actually a Libyan agent or whatever.

Oh, also, her new chief of staff is Stephanie Cutter, who headed up John Kerry's wildly successful communications strategy. If things go as they did for Kerry, Americans will end up with no sense of Michelle Obama's priorities or true positions on key issues which, come to think of it, is probably exactly what the Obama campaign is going for.

[Times, Times (earlier draft)]

Kanye West Scouting For Next Craigslist Cash-Waver [Fashion]

It is only natural that the hilariously obnoxious Craigslist Cash-Waver guy was wearing a pair of those hilariously obnoxious sunglasses from Kanye West's "Stronger" video. Ahead of the zeitgeist as usual, fashion-conscious rapper West has actually been soliciting such poses for months now on his personal website, and has assembled a nice trove of responses, a tipster notes. The fellow above and to the right, for example, had his "Stronger" picture taken while standing in the "Kid's Video" section of his local DVD rental shop. West can't lose: He gets to sell his $10 sunglasses in earnest to fans who think the photos look chic, and as ironic accessories to people who laugh at them (or just want to look like the money-fan guy). More hard poses, along with selected comments from West's site, after the jump.

"in the kids videos section lol —Rudes | March 10, 2008 "
"why such a mean pose in a video store?? lol take your cool off. —ahedofmytime | January 28, 2008"

"since everyone seems to be confused....it was WACKY TACKY day at my HS. GEEZ! —FresherThanThou | February 18, 2008"

"I...am your father!!!! luke1 | April 25, 2008"

"still a pimp cobra...representing the patriot missiles v. scuds jaybol | November 2, 2007"

[Kanye West]

Advertising Blow Jobs To San Francisco Tourists [Ad Remixes]

New York might have those pornographic, fake American Apparel ads, but I like this San Francisco advertising remix better, for three reasons: One, the prankster got it onto the side of one of those cable cars all the tourists ride. Two, that "Don't ask, don't tell" starburst is such a nice touch. It looks just like the authentic "It's thrilling!" logo, and must have taken some work. Third, the photo of the "marine" totally matches the color scheme of the headline, which originally read, "Been Down On A Submarine Lately?" This is the kind of creative work you can only get when your city leads the country in both gay liberation and designers per capita. [Joestump on Flickr]

Investigative Stories [Puffy]

A new interview's out with P. Diddy, in which he discusses how he gets ready for an evening: a nice ball-waxing followed by heaps of cologne on his privates. Now it's time for everybody to go home. [Crazy Days and Nights]

Sex and the City Actress Decides to Wear What Her Show Was About [Open Caption]

[Kristin Davis in Jerusalem today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Arianna Huffington's 15-Year Feud With Tim Russert [Awkward]

So. As we noted this morning, blog mistress Arianna Huffington didn't weigh in on the unexpected death of departed Meet the Press host Tim Russert until well after everyone else, and once she did, she didn't have much to say. Because of the old axiom about how much one should say when one doesn't have anything nice to say. (HuffPo's regular feature "Russert Watch" has gone blank—technical glitch or archive-scrubbing?) As anyone who's read Arianna's media writing over the last couple years knows, she never liked Tim. And we only just recently wandered into the fray, when we learned that Russert's unappreciated lapdog Chris Matthews hated Huffington for her years spent bashing his idol. And why did she hate Tim? This book excerpt might explain it all!

Republican strategist Ed Rollins wrote a memoir in which he discussed his role in Michael Huffington's disastrous run for the US Senate. Attached is the relevant excerpt, reporting the rumor that Arianna Huffington hired a private eye to tail Maureen Orth, the Vanity Fair author who happened to be married to Tim Russert.

Now Orth did write a piece on Michael. And it was terribly embarrassing for both Huffingtons. Since that story, Arianna had a political realignment, divorced her now-gay husband, and became a left-winger. Rollins remains a slimy Republican hack. It's his word against hers, and she's stringently denied the charge. But Orth believes it! So Tim probably did too. And so, obviously, Arianna did not have much to say about the death of beloved newsman Tim Russert.

Tomorrow's Douchey Business Leaders Today [The Second Generation]

"I wouldn't say I have a complete picture of the MBA ranking by female attractiveness," writes somebody calling themselves Markbot, on Business Week's online forum for business schools. However. "Wharton had by far the most attractive women of the schools I visited and Chicago GSB had by far the least attractive women that I visited." User Dabots chimes in, "this can be pretty easily settled by using Facebook." James N., a commenter who probably hasn't been laid since Bush's first term (and that was by accident), adds, "I'd hit up schools in the lower tier. Texas Tech!" Oh, to be free, white, and 21!

Just think! In ten years, these people will be putting just as much energy into denying you health insurance or causing the next subprime crisis or whatever.

Bad Synergy: The New York Times and Jewish Power [Conspiracies]

The New York Times, ever ranged against the perpetuation of conspiracy theories, hosted a fascinating symposium in May called "Jews and Power." If this is how the Sulzberger clan distances itself against nasty but enduring rumors, then Times, Inc. stockholders might consider now a good time to sell. Bad PR! The event — sort of like the New Yorker Festival, except way more open about who's in charge — borrowed its provocative title from Ruth Wisse's well-regarded intellectual history of the subject, published by Shocken Books a year ago as part of its series of volumes dealing with explicitly Jewish themes. (Also not to be missed: David Mamet on why anti-Semites are limp-dicked liberals who can't close). Some of the conversational pairings were rather inspired: Shalom Auslander, the smashmouth Spinoza of upstate New York, kibitzed with Rebecca Goldstein, author of Betraying Spinoza: The Renegade Jew Who Gave Us Modernity, on what it's like to give up Orthodoxy and any chance of not being hounded to an early grave by your parents. Also, Washington Post journalist Warren Bass, reconstructed lefty Paul Berman, and Mideast analyst Aaron David Miller partake in this fruitful discussion:

Israel came into being at almost the exact time that America plunged into the Cold War. How has the unusual alliance between the global superpower and the regional pariah evolved? What role has Israel played in U.S. foreign policy? Have American interests and values about the Jewish state changed in the post-9/11 world? Why are so many quick to explain U.S. strategy by referring to Israel and "Jewish interests"?

Don't worry if you missed the talk live; it's being syndicated all this month on the Hezbollah premium channel.

[Nextbook]

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