Paparazzi To Rumble With Surfers In Malibu [Celebrity-industrial Complex]

Remember the big paparazzi beat-down by surfers in Malibu this past weekend? Well, there's now supposed to be a big Saturday rumble between the two groups, who have been trading taunts in the comments of pap-run news site X17.com. The original clash pitted a mob of entitled white Malibu denizens against the rough-and-tumble paps, some of whom are ex-gang members and many of whom are immigrants, some illegal. The new fight promises even more fun ethnic tension under the sun:

"I will Karate Chop anybody and everybody that looks like Eurotrash," wrote one surfer. " And to you Brazilian roid boy - I am going to punch you in the vagina."

And from a pap, via the Daily News:

"I've made $94K a year and I'm only four months into it ... because stupid white trash people like your fat mother buy the magazines. We hunt the very people you worship for no reason."

Who to root for? Even if they were the victims in this case, the paps can be pretty brutal and unlawful themselves. And those who show up to inflict physical battery on their opponents lose the right to wrap themselves in the legal protection of the First Amendment. The surfers, on the other hand, are the thugs who made this thing physical in the first place, and they have the nerve to be self-righteous about it.

Hopefully it won't matter, because every paparazzo will want to be the one trying to slyly hang back and capture preciou$$$ footage of the big fight, while the surfers will realize they can't, in an evenly-numbered match, lick a bunch of nasty paps as though they were tasty waves, and besides they'll likely be caught on camera if they do.

Anyway, if it does happen, I want to get the play-by-play recap ONLY from this guy.

Hillary Clinton Rage Continues At Vogue [Feuds]

Last fall, before she realized she would soon need every last scrap of sympathetic coverage she could get, Hillary Clinton ditched a Vogue interview and photo shoot because it might maker her look too elitist or feminine or something. Anna Wintour in January penned a bitchy editor's note about the incident. And now the poor writer who had to go through the excruciating, months-long process of setting up the damned interview is letting off some steam. Julia Reed is now free to tell how she really feels about Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson, and that's what she does today in Women's Wear Daily:

"Let me just say, it's not the most fun thing in the world to have breakfast a million times with [communications director] Howard Wolfson," she said. "The man is the most charmless human being on the planet, and I'm sitting there sucking up to him."

...She said she was told, "We already have the women's vote in the bag," and that Wolfson said, '"We thought we were going to be in a bigger dogfight. We don't need you anymore.' This was right before Iowa. What an idiot!"

Oh, snap! Who doesn't need who now, Howard Wolfson? Or, I mean, who wouldn't be not needing who, if he was still in the "dogfight," because he hadn't yet lost the race, or what... Whatever: SNAP!

Reed is pitching a book, which unfortunately is not about the idiots surrounding Hillary Clinton. More on that!

[WWD]

(Photo via WowOWow.com)

JC Penney Sex-Ad Rebel: Mike Long, Right? [Scandal]

Arrested Anne Hathaway Ex Still Collecting Donations [Crime]

Federal prosecutors did not snare Raffaello Follieri's charitable foundation yesterday when they had the Italian businessman arrested for fraud and money laundering. The case against Follieri, at present, focuses on his alleged crimes against private, profit-seeking investors and not the Follieri Foundation he chairs, which supposedly vaccinates children in third-world countries. But the Feds' fraud and money-laundering charges against Follieri Group raise questions about the trustworthiness of the foundation to which it is so closely tied — questions made all the more acute by the fact that Follieri Foundation is itself under investigation by New York's attorney general after apparently failing to file U.S. tax disclosure forms. The foundation, directed by Annie Longon, pictured at left via her Facebook profile (via same name/university/city as her Follieri-linked LinkedIn profile), is still raising funds, on the off chance you trust Follieri bookkeeping:

Or you can just bypass the foundation and get a special, philanthropic Follieri Capital Visa card!

If you act now, Follieri may still find time to name a girlfriend to the foundation's board of directors, as he did with actress/Follieri ex Anne Hathaway, before he's convicted of anything. WON'T YOU PLEASE MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR SOMEONE IN NEED??

[Follieri Foundation, Follieri Capital]

How Obama Will Destroy McCain's Sad Videogame [The Olds]

Kirsten Dunst, One of Our Most-Stalked [Gawker Stalker]

Kirsten Dunst is in town! You can always tell because we get a bamillion Stalker sightings in the span of a day or two. The wispy and apparently extremely recognizable Spider-Man actress has recently been spotted traipsing around downtown a couple of times and at Madison Square Garden for last night's Coldplay concert. She's one of the celebrities heavily favored by our Gawker Stalkers, who all seem to lurk downtown, eyes peeled for some Gen Y famous face. (It probably helps that Dunst was in hipster fantasia Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.) The stalker emails run the gamut from criticizing Dunst's "pale and sickly," "child prostitute"-esque appearance to saying that she looked super cute in a little black dress. People comment about her, more than other New York celebrities, almost as if they know her (I'm guilty of the same. Nearly bumped into her twice in two days last year and almost said 'hi' the second time out of habit.) Hopefully we're not bothering you, Kirsten, on your little New York jaunts. We just like to peek, it seems. Read the four latest Dunst sightings after the jump.

June 23rd @ Coldplay Concert in MSG Kiki Dunst was sitting a few seats away from me.. hunched between 2 tall guys. Her hair looked nice but she's so thin! David Schwimmer and Joey Slotnik were 2 rows down from me rockin' out with 2 gorgeous girls. Totally normal people, even stayed to see if there was an encore! Kiki left as soon as the lights went down. Whatevs.

i saw kirsten dunst on lafayette in the cooper union area this afternoon. she was looking pale and sickly in some sort of child prostitute get-up reminiscent of jodi foster in taxi driver— short shorts, floppy hat, the whole deal. wearing those red plastic ray-bans, not a pretty sight.

Kirsten dunst at the beatrice inn on 8th ave and 12th street at12:45am she was dancing at the dj booth and mingling around the place. looked sooo great in a little black dress! when i left she was still there.

saw Kirsten Dunst at Bacaro on Division St on Saturday night about midnight, presumably before she went to beatrice. Poor posture. Seemed to go in and out, maybe to smoke out on the street, or stand with friends who were doing so.

A Newscaster's Freudian "Sexism" Slip [Sex Wars]

Will Leitch Did Not Win Ben Stein's Money [From The Vaults]

Years ago—before the age of blogs—a young Will Leitch appeared on Comedy Central's Win Ben Stein's Money. You may know Will as the blogger who brought Deadspin into the world, wrote some books, and who is now leaving the internet to be a columnist at New York. In 1997, though, he was a dude who just got dumped by his fiance and was now on television for some reason attempting a Woody Allen impression. Will wrote about the experience for the Black Table many moons ago, and now we see that the video is actually online. Amazing.

Prison Food Stunt Always Amusing [This Thing Looks Like That Thing]

Lawyer Arin Greenwood ate some Nutraloaf for Slate. What is Nutraloaf? A delicious taste sensation served to prisoners who are being punished. It provides a whole day's nutrients in, uh, loaf form. Apparently there is a case before the Vermont Supreme Court over whether or not serving Nutraloaf counts as cruel and unusual. This is the peg for the Slate piece. (Though prisoners have been suing over the loaf for years, apparently.) So Greenwood makes a batch and eats it. And it's really gross. But a bunch of lawyers decided it's not bad enough to sue over. BUT at the arts and culture writers at The Onion's A.V. Club did this same stunt last April!

The A.V. Club story of the Nutraloaf stunt is more entertaining, because it has more unappetizing photos and even a little video! They only got 9 diggs out of it though. They all agreed that it was gross, so this Slate version could've been much more Slate-y if they'd decided it was actually delicious.

Look for Christopher Hitchens to eat some Nutriloaf in a forthcoming Vanity Fair piece, probably. It's fun to pretend!

Paris Hilton Defends Her Dog-Demanding Habits [Gossip]

Paris Hilton was recently accused, via Page Six, of yet another antic concerning the welfare of a helpless animal, and she's just about had it. She took her case to the people's court, also known as her MySpace blog: "I was catching up on news last week only to read a story about me walking by some puppies for sale, and demanding that I be given a Yorkie puppy to be an accessory for a photo shoot. These stories have gotten out of control and I want to clear some things up."

I wasn't looking for a new pet, I wasn't even at a photo shoot that day, (I was down the street at Benji's DCMA clothing store) and I actually have a Yorkie puppy. I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly—I treat them as if they were my children.

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