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News Home Archive Lifehack.org</h3> <subtitle type="text">Daily digest and pointer on productivity, getting things done and lifehacks</subtitle> <updated>2008-04-18T14:00:36Z</updated> <generator uri="http://wordpress.org/" version="2.5">WordPress</generator> <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.lifehack.org" /> <id>http://www.lifehack.org/feed/atom</id> <link rel="self" href="http://www.lifehack.org/feed/" type="application/atom+xml" /><feedburner:emailServiceId>71799</feedburner:emailServiceId><feedburner:feedburnerHostname>http://www.feedburner.com</feedburner:feedburnerHostname><feedburner:browserFriendly>This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use.</feedburner:browserFriendly><entry> <author> <name>Dustin Wax</name> <uri>http://www.dwax.org</uri> </author> <title type="html">Playing Well with Others</h3> <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/LifeHack/~3/272905463/playing-well-with-others.html" /> <id>http://www.lifehack.org/?p=5519</id> <updated>2008-04-17T21:08:06Z</updated> <published>2008-04-18T14:00:36Z</published> <category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="Communication" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="conflict resolution" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="idea" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="listening" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="relationship" /> <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/playing-well-with-others.html#comments" thr:count="5" /> <link rel="replies" type="appication/atom+xml" href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/playing-well-with-others.html/feed/atom" thr:count="5" /> <thr:total>5</thr:total> <content type="html"><div class="bigphoto"><img src="http://www.lifehack.org/wp-content/files/2008/04/20080418-children-playing.png" alt="Playing Well with Others" title="20080418-children-playing" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-5520" /></div> <p>Hell, said French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, is other people. For all our good intentions in life, there are people who just seem to get under our skin, who go out of their way to sabotage our efforts — often without even knowing it — or to whom we just can’t relate. </p> <p>At the same time, we live in a world where our ability to get along with other people is increasingly valued. Companies are decentralizing decision-making, putting more authority in the hands of team-members whose actions are evaluated as a group; social networking has assumed new importance for everything from getting jobs to entertaining one’s self to writing academic works; even our architecture demands more and more interpersonal contact, with all its potential for friction, as employers move beyond the semi-open cubicle farm to fully open workspaces.</p> <p>In short, we live in a world with fewer and fewer walls, and we are increasingly judged on our ability to deal with the challenges that entails. You don’t have to like everyone you meet, but you do have to manage to work with them, whether as co-workers and colleagues, clients, or consultants and service providers.</p> </p> <h2>Getting Along Ain’t So Hard</h2> <p>The good news is that it’s not especially difficult to work productively with other people, if you have the right attitude. With not much work, you’ll find that encounters with even the most annoying people can be productive.</p> <p>The keys to playing well with others are:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Listen productively<br /></strong>Listening involves more than just nodding your head and saying “Hmmm…” every once in a while. Try to hear not only what a person is saying, but what they mean (this means don’t jump on mistakes — “But you said…”). What are their real concerns? Most people don’t want to expose themselves too much, to make themselves vulnerable, so often they’ll couch their true feelings in difficult and obtuse language; you have to try to cut through that to get to the core of what is being said. </li> <li><strong>Ask questions</strong><br />Another way we protect ourselves is to avoid looking like we don’t know something — so we don’t ask questions. If you’re unclear on something, ask. If you think you <em>might</em> be unclear, ask. One good strategy is to rephrase what’s been said and ask if that’s what was meant. “You want me to show you how to print to a remote printer, is that right?” </li> <li><strong>Show interest<br /></strong>Try to be sensitive to changes in the people around you, in everything from mood to hairstyle. Ask questions about their life and their interests. Not only can you learn a lot if you show the least bit of interest, most people love to talk about themselves — give them the opportunity, and you’ll have made a friend out of them. </li> <li><strong>Enable innovation by asking “why?”</strong><br />We often succumb to the urge to criticize — and frequently with good reason. But nobody likes being on the receiving end of criticism. Turn the negative energy of criticism around by asking “Why?” — as in “Why do you think this will increase sales?” or “Why would this process work better than the one we already use?” The idea is to get them to reach the point where their idea crumbles on their own — and to give them an opportunity to work through that point, if they can. </li> <li><strong>Understand their perspective<br /></strong>Here’s a unique thought: everyone does everything they do for what they believe are good reasons. It’s true — no matter how stupid or mean-spirited or incompetent someone’s decisions might look to you, they thought they were doing the right thing at the time. Your job as a fellow human being is not to tell them how stupid or mean or incompetent they are, but to figure out what their rationale could have been. </li> <li><strong>Act as if you’re wrong<br /></strong>When I interviewed Tatsuya Nakagawa and Peter Paul Roosen on <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/podcast/lifehack-live-for-february-18-tatsuya-nakagawa-and-peter-paul-roosen-of-atomica-creative.html">Lifehack Live</a>, they said something startling: don’t fall in love with your ideas. That doesn’t mean don’t champion them; it means you need to create a space around your ideas where they can be tested. Bring ideas to other people and ask them to show you what’s wrong with them. Be open to other ideas that might be better. </li> <li><strong>Share credit</strong><br />Nobody accomplishes anything all on their own. At some point near the end of <em>any</em> project spend a few minutes to figure out who you couldn’t have done it without — from the administrative assistant who sorted your handouts to the vendor representative who helped you make an important connection — and make sure they receive ample credit. Be sincere and appreciative toward anyone that lend you a hand. </li> <li><strong>Keep your commitments<br /></strong>There’s a saying that “you are only as good as your word”. No matter how insignificant a task seems to you, once you tell someone you’re going to do it, <em>do it</em>. Do it quickly, do it as well as you possibly can, and do it cheerfully. The time for <em>not</em> doing it was before you made the commitment — not later when you decide it’s not something you care to do or you don’t have time for it.</li> </ul> <p>For the most part, playing well with others is a matter of simple respect — even for people you can’t stand. <em>Especially</em> for people you can’t stand. So many people get hauled into ugly office politics and interpersonal rivalries because they think they’re scoring points by treating their “enemies” without respect — get over yourself. You come off looking just as bad as the person you imagine yourself enemies with looks to you, and you reduce everyone’s ability to work. </p> <p>Instead, be like <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118715/">The Dude</a> — “Abide”. Keep yourself clean of office politics, and make yourself an asset to those around you. Or, of course, you can live in the Hell Sartre said we create for ourselves out of our relationships with other people. How much fun does <em>that</em> sound?</p> <p>Anyone have any other advice for playing well with others? Let us know in the comments!</p> <hr/><em>Dustin M. Wax is a contributing editor and project manager at lifehack.org. He is also the creator of <a href="http://www.writerstechnology.com">The Writer's Technology Companion</a>, a site devoted to the tools of the writing trade. When he's not writing, he teaches anthropology and women's studies in Las Vegas, NV. His personal site can be found at <a href="http://www.dwax.org">dwax.org</a>.</em></p><p class="akst_link"><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/?p=5519&akst_action=share-this" title="E-mail this, post to del.icio.us, etc." id="akst_link_5519" class="akst_share_link" rel="nofollow">Bookmark or Share this with a friend!</a> </p><h3>Related Posts</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/empathic-listening-is-for-everyones-good.html" title="Empathic Listening is for Everyone’s Good">Empathic Listening is for Everyone’s Good</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-ways-to-commit-relationship-suicide.html" title="10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE">10 Ways To Commit Relationship SUICIDE</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/unleash-your-inner-genius.html" title="Unleash your Inner Genius">Unleash your Inner Genius</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/management/how-to-lead-people-for-results.html" title="How to Lead People for Results">How to Lead People for Results</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-ways-we-hurt-our-romantic-relationships.html" title="10 Ways We Hurt Our Romantic Relationships">10 Ways We Hurt Our Romantic Relationships</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-improve-your-relationship-with-a-weekly-review.html" title="How to Improve Your Relationship with a Weekly Review">How to Improve Your Relationship with a Weekly Review</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/9-secrets-to-building-relationships-outside-of-the-office.html" title="9 Secrets to Building Relationships Outside of the Office">9 Secrets to Building Relationships Outside of the Office</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/building-relationships-10-ways-to-get-the-most-out-of-social-networking-sites.html" title="Building Relationships: 10 Ways to Get the Most Out of Social Networking Sites">Building Relationships: 10 Ways to Get the Most Out of Social Networking Sites</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/thump-5-ways-to-deal-with-irresponsible-people.html" title="T.H.U.M.P. - 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Even a few typos can make a writer look beyond unprofessional — errors imply laziness and poor presentation in much the same way that a stained shirt shows a lack of effort at a business meeting.</p> <p>But, important as good spelling and grammar are, errors can slip through even a reasonable level of editing. Reasonable, by the way, does not mean simply running Spell Check. At the very least, it means reading a document carefully after you’ve finished writing it. It also means that if you can get another person to read over your writing, you should. We always know what we mean when we write, but that doesn’t guarantee that our readers will get the nuances.<br /> <br /> Beyond general editing, there are steps you can take to improve your spelling and grammar, as well as your overall ability to create an excellent piece of communication. These three approaches can help you create a professional document and minimizes errors that can detract from the message of your writing.</p> <h2>Recognize weaknesses.</h2> <p>Every time I try to write the word “maintenance” I use a different combination of letters. I’m generally a good speller, but that combination of letters manages to stump me every time. But I’ve made a note of the fact that I can’t spell that word. Knowing my weakness has allowed me to make allowances and quickly rectify the misspelling.</p> <p>When I’m writing a document that includes a word I regularly struggle with, I slow down for that word and make sure that I spell it correctly before I continue writing. While I risk breaking my concentration on what I’m writing, I’ve noticed that I’ve been able to get better at spelling certain problem words. Other techniques can include the following:</p> <ul> <li>Vary your word choice. Avoid words that tend to trip you up.</li> <li>Practice spelling (and using) problem words.</li> <li>Explore root words and learn why a given word is spelled a certain way.</li> </ul> <p>Grammar can be a more complicated fix than spelling. As a general rule, most of us can tell if something sounds wrong just by reading it out loud — a number of SAT preparation courses actually recommend students do just that to pick out errors on the test. Recognizing an error isn’t necessarily enough, however. Fixing one can be much harder. If you feel that your grammar skills are weak, consider rewriting problem sentences in a simple format. I know that I run into comma splices and dangling participles when I try to make my writing fancier. Simple sentences, however, are easy to correct, and they are often easier for a reader to comprehend.</p> <h2>Proofread for others.</h2> <p>Part of the struggle with perfecting our own writing is the fact that many of us don’t practice our proofreading skills regularly. We aren’t adept at correcting errors because we are used to reading for comprehension, rather than for correction. To improve your proofreading skills, you must use them:</p> <ul> <li>Offer to look over a co-worker’s memo or a friend’s short story.</li> <li>Read the daily newspaper and circle typos. Because of the production cycle, most dailies wind up letting a few typos through.</li> <li>Join an online critique group. Sites like <a href="http://www.webook.com">WEbook</a> invite editors as well as writers to help develop manuscripts.</li> </ul> <p>You can also improve your ability to proofread your own work by writing regularly. No matter how often you write, if you do not expect your work to be public, you’ll let typos slip. I try to go out of my way to proofread most of what I write — even if I’m just adding tasks to my to-do list. Furthermore, the more I write, the better I get at both proofreading and writing. It can be hard to sit down each day to write, but it can be a worthwhile endeavor.</p> <h2>Set Goals For Documents</h2> <p>Most of us write with a purpose in mind: a document may be a memo expected to explain a new company procedure or it might be an email arranging for lunch. Either way, documents should generally have a goal: an idea or concept that they’ll be communicating. Allowing such a goal or a purpose to guide you while writing can help you to plan your document — but it can also make editing your work significantly easier. After all, missing out on the message can make an entire document seem garbled, as well as unprofessional.</p> <p>You can keep it simple: just make a list of the points you want to make with your writing and check them off as you come across them during your review. If you get to the end of a document without have crossed off every item on your list, you know what changes you need to make. This method is one of the fastest ways to essentially proofread your content — it won’t help you make changes but it can warn you of problems in a document.</p> <p>Checking that your writing has met the goals set for it does not necessarily prove that a reader can comprehend your content, though. To ensure clarity, you might consider asking another person to read your document and then check whether they understood each of the ideas or points your document was intended to communicate. You can even use the same checklist.</p> <h2>Ask For Help</h2> <p>It can be hard for one person to fully edit a document — especially if that person wrote it. Just having someone else look over a document, especially if you can ask him or her to keep the above tips in mind, can help you to prepare a clear and professional piece of writing.</p> <hr/><em>Thursday Bram is a freelance journalist of over five years experience. She studied Communications at the University of Tulsa and is currently working on her MA in Communication Design. Her work has focused primarily on entrepreneurial topics. More information about Thursday is available at <a href="http://www.thursdaybram.com">thursdaybram.com</a>. </em></p><p class="akst_link"><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/?p=5516&akst_action=share-this" title="E-mail this, post to del.icio.us, etc." id="akst_link_5516" class="akst_share_link" rel="nofollow">Bookmark or Share this with a friend!</a> </p><h3>Related Posts</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/eliminate-common-writing-mistakes.html" title="Eliminate Common Writing Mistakes">Eliminate Common Writing Mistakes</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-ultimate-writing-productivity-resource.html" title="The Ultimate Writing Productivity Resource">The Ultimate Writing Productivity Resource</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-improve-your-spelling-skills.html" title="How to Improve Your Spelling Skills">How to Improve Your Spelling Skills</a></li><li><a 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src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?i=op8DWpG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?a=cPOF1ag"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?i=cPOF1ag" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?a=R8pibSG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?i=R8pibSG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?a=1f4oESG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?i=1f4oESG" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?a=xKahelG"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~f/LifeHack?i=xKahelG" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/LifeHack/~4/272174726" height="1" width="1"/></content></entry> <entry> <author> <name>Joel Falconer</name> <uri>http://www.freearticulator.com</uri> </author> <title type="html">Following Email Etiquette</h3> <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/LifeHack/~3/271470940/following-email-etiquette.html" /> <id>http://www.lifehack.org/?p=5514</id> <updated>2008-04-16T14:41:32Z</updated> <published>2008-04-16T14:41:32Z</published> <category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="Communication" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="Featured" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="email" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="etiquette" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="information" /><category scheme="http://www.lifehack.org" term="organization" /> <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/following-email-etiquette.html#comments" thr:count="13" /> <link rel="replies" type="appication/atom+xml" href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/following-email-etiquette.html/feed/atom" thr:count="13" /> <thr:total>13</thr:total> <content type="html"><div class="bigphoto"><img title="emailet" src="http://www.lifehack.org/wp-content/files/2008/04/emailet.jpg" alt="" /></div> <p>In <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/simplifying-your-information-intake.html"><em>Simplifying Your Information Intake</em></a>, we looked at strategies to reduce the amount of email you need to deal with, and how to deal with what’s left much faster. Anyone who undertakes the task of clearing out their inbox for good and getting a handle on their email habits inevitably discovers that the biggest reason email is plaguing so much of their time is the amount of unnecessary or badly written email being sent their way by others.</p> <p>Here at Lifehack we like to help you become more productive, but there’s something to be said for helping others become more productive - after all, if you can make the life of your coworkers, friends and family a bit easier, isn’t it more likely they’ll return the favor?</p> <p>So, in this article we’ll look at the email etiquette that you can follow to inspire world peace and harmony and end famine. Email can make life so much easier compared to the inconvenient snail mail or the inefficient phone call, but it can also be the source of all sorts of stress. Perhaps if everyone followed these guidelines, the world really would be a happier place!</p> <h2>Use Descriptive Subject Lines</h2> <p>Well-crafted, descriptive subject lines are <em>essential </em>to being able to process email quickly. If you have to open each email just to figure out what it’s about, you can’t prioritize their responses as efficiently. While you might think the email you’re sending is the most important for the recipient to reply to, it may be way down the list for them - they know what they need to get done with the most urgency, so let them be the judge and state plainly what the message is about.</p> <p>Ask yourself if you’d understand the purpose of the email based on the subject heading alone before settling on one, and make sure it is concise, clear and scannable. Don’t use awkward phrasing or unusual words, because they take more time to re-read and understand, hence increasing the amount of time it takes your recipient to process the message.</p> <h2>Brevity is Your Friend</h2> <p>Have you ever received one of those emails that never seems to end? The one that goes on for pages and pages, yet by the time you finish you feel like you’ve learned nothing?</p> <p>Have you ever sent one?</p> <p>I bet the answer is yes on both counts. We’ve all received them, and we’ve all been guilty of sending them at least once or twice before. But there’s also the serial ramblers who do this every time they hit the <em>Compose </em>button.</p> <p>In 90% of cases, email that is more than a page long is too long. Unless you’re explaining complicated concepts or providing detailed instructions (because they’ve been asked for or need to be communicated for a reason), then get back to the core of your message and communicate it quickly.</p> <p>In my experience the kind of person who sends an opus for each email is the kind of person who assumes everyone is less intelligent than themselves or feels the need to explain completely irrelevant things. For instance, if you’re a graphic artist, you don’t need to explain the techniques used to create an image for a client when you hand over the work. They don’t care; that’s why they hired you instead of figuring it out for themselves.</p> <h2>But Don’t Be Too Brief</h2> <p>Context is important; when you deal with email all the time, it’s easy to forget what you’ve sent out in the last few days. When people remove your message from their reply completely, or fail to include key details in a message, confusion ensues and more back-and-forth is required to sort it out.</p> <p>When replying to messages, clip off as much of the previous email as you can while keeping key sentences quoted in your reply. Ensure you provide contextual details that may seem self-evident to you, but not to the recipient - this is especially true when you’re emailing lecturers. Your course is not the only one they teach, most of the time!</p> <h2>Don’t CC if You Don’t Have a Reason</h2> <p>Ah, the terminal case of misplaced carbon copies. Before you inflict this painfully irritating malady on someone, you’ve got to go back and have a good look and ask yourself if it’s necessary. From experience, I’d say about 90% of messages I’ve received where I’m not in the To: field but the CC: field were completely and totally useless to me.</p> <p>“Just keeping you in the loop” is a frequent reason given for doing this, and while there are sometimes cases where this is a good idea, for the most part you shouldn’t send someone an email unless you want them to take action on it</p> <h2>Reply-All Isn’t Always Necessary</h2> <p>Someone asks their whole mailing list for advice. The whole mailing list uses reply-all to give said advice. You get the pleasant surprise of tens, hundreds, or even thousands of totally unwanted emails. Reply-all is there for a reason and can be useful, but it’s yet another feature of email that’s rarely used for any good reason at all.</p> <p>Whether the boss sends you and three other guys an email asking what time the serial bus arrives (I’ve read too much Dilbert) or your 13 year old niece/daughter/cousin/sister has sent out yet another chain mail and you want to tell her off, don’t use reply-all. 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