You don’t have to be a famous politician or an aspiring poet to keep a journal. Spending some time writing on a daily basis can boost your motivation, help with conditions such as depression or insomnia, and have vast, life-enhancing benefits. And if you ever become famous, you’ll have plenty of material to draw on for your biography …

Personal benefits of keeping a journal

Writing – get into the habit. If you’re keen on any form of writing – from short stories to blog posts – then keeping a journal can help establish the habit of writing on a regular basis. Knowing that no-one but you will read your words means you needn’t worry about making them perfect. Some people prefer to write in a journal first thing in the morning, whilst fresh; others record their thoughts about the day just before bed.

Insight – learn about yourself. We learn about the world outside us by reading, but we learn about the world inside by writing. If you keep a journal for any length of time, you’ll surprise yourself – especially if you look back over previous weeks and months. What topics obsess you? What patterns can’t you break? What resolutions do you constantly make on a Monday, only to have forgotten by Friday…? You could even use your journal to discover what your dream career is .

Catharsis – work through problems. When faced with hard decisions that have to be made, writing can help solve them, giving you fresh ideas and perspectives. The result might only be that you accept the difficult times … or it might be that you realize a whole new aspect to the situation. Like having a good cry, writing in a journal is cathartic, leaving you calmer and feeling more able to deal with things.

Achievements – look back on what you’ve done. Sometimes, we look back on the weeks and months and wonder what actually happened. Were we just living on auto-pilot? If time seems to slip away from you, write down what you’ve achieved, on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s being entrusted with a new project at work, passing an exam, taking a new class, starting a project like a blog, a novel, a painting… Whenever you feel that you’ve not had a very successful month or year, read back over your journal.

Public benefits of keeping a journal

Record – your life and times. You may never become famous, but if you do, your journal (or excerpts from it) could well be published. You could even become well-known because of your journal. Think of the most famous diarist, Samuel Pepys; a 17 ^th century Member of Parliament in the UK whose writings are now a hugely valuable source for historians … and an entertaining read for anyone interested in British history.

Gift – for future generations. Perhaps your daily life seems humdrum and routine to you – but in fifty years’ time, it could be fascinating to your children and grandchildren. Just think how much life has changed since the 1950s … The clothes, entertainment, technology, food, politics and attitudes of today are all likely to be radically different in a few decades time. By investing a little effort in keeping a journal now, you could have something wonderful to pass on to descendents in the future.

Ways to keep a journal

Pen and paper. This method has served dedicated journalers down the centuries: the humble pen and paper. Buy yourself a gorgeous notebook with lined pages, and a proper fountain pen – you’ll invest more time and emotion in your writing if you have good materials. Scribbling in scratchy pen on a cheap pad just isn’t the same.

If you normally use a computer to write, do try writing by hand instead. You can take your journal anywhere (in the garden, in bed, in the bath), and having your words in a weighty, physical form makes them much more concrete than pixels on a screen.

Software. There are numerous software packages available designed for journal keeping. The advantage of digitalizing your journal is that you can tag entries, and easily search through it for phrases or words. And, if you ever do get that high-powered position in the public eye, publishing your memoirs will be all the easier…

However, typing can have a slightly distancing effect – and it’s too easy to delete. One of the best things about journaling is capturing all those odd, half-formed or not-quite-right thoughts that come out, so resist the temptation to go back and editing them away.

Don’t keep your journal as a blog. You’ll constantly be holding back, conscious of having an audience to impress or entertain, and you’ll lose most of the benefits of journaling. Keep your words for you alone, whilst writing them; if you choose to share them in future years, you can.

Your turn to write…

Try keeping a journal for a week, writing every day for at least ten minutes. Stick to it even when you think you have nothing to say, when you’re tired, when there are hundreds of distractions clamoring for your time. After a week, see what effect it’s had.

And if you already keep a journal, or if you’ve done so in the past, why not let us know us some of the benefits that it’s had for you?

This was a guest post by Ali Hale , a freelance writer and web creator who — amongst other things — runs The Office Diet , a blog on healthy living for busy people.

Image by Windy Angels .

Originally posted at PickTheBrain a weblog dedicated to self improvement and motivation .

How often do you want to make love with your partner? How often does your partner want to make love? Many times the answers to both questions are not in sync. The best answer for your relationship may be found somewhere in between. When most relationships first begin there is high degree of passion and sexual frequency. The newness of discovering one another as well as the newness of the relationship is the primary contributor. Over time this new-found excitement and intrigue begins to wane and a more realistic pace develops.

When both partners begin to settle into this pace, and are comfortable with the adjusted frequency, their shared passion and love for one another continues to be cultivated and refined. However, if one partner becomes disappointed or even resentful of the diminished frequency, then conflict can develop in the relationship.

If you and your partner disagree on the amount of intimacy in your relationship, consider the following:

1. Discuss and determine, together, why the frequency in your relationship has declined. Look at what is happening outside of the bedroom first. Usually it’s the day-to-day activities of work or attending to the needs of the children that leaves one, or both, emotionally drained at the end of the day.

2. Provide assurance. If you are the one who is sometimes left exhausted after the day’s work is done, assure your partner it’s not your lack of interest or love in him or her – you’re just tired and need to recover.

3. Share expectations. Ask your partner how often he or she would like to be intimate. When they would like to be intimate - do they prefer making love in the morning when they are more rested or at the end of the day? Next, share your expectations. You both might be closer to a common set of expectations than you may think. If there are wide gaps in these expectations, make a plan to reach out and accommodate one anther in ways that will not violate your personal boundaries.

4. Realize you are responsible for your own needs. Making love is the ultimate expression of love, connection and commitment. Both need to be in the moment in order for the experience to be mutually enjoyable. If there are times when you want to make love for other reasons, pursue individual ways to take care of this while honoring the commitments you have made with your loved one.

5. Trust and Surrender. In times when your partner is not in the state of mind to make love, trust this is a temporary situation and trust your partner will want to receive you again in due time. Surrender the temptation to promote your needs over the needs of your partner. Surrender to the belief that your focus must be on your partner’s needs without expecting any thing in return. By trusting and surrendering, your needs will begin to be met by a more willing partner.

Couples who talk about the intimacy in their relationships are in a much better position to deal with any potential conflict or pot-holes that will develop from time-to-time. It’s OK to ask your partner to make love and it’s also OK for your partner to take a rain check. As relationships mature and grow stronger, frequency is no longer gauged by “how many times” it becomes measured by the trust and respect one has for the other and the willingness to make the time to give and receive meaningful intimacy.

Alex Blackwell is the author of the blog The Next 45 Years . He writes about improving relationships, sustaining happiness and creating last success. His articles include 23 Heartfelt Reasons I Will Always Be Faithful to My Wife and 30 True Things You Need to Know Now . You can subscribe to his blog here .

Originally posted at